Bruce Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 That tooth fairy was the only thing I ever believed in! When I was a kid, I actually put some teeth from a dead sheep under my pillow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pmccarthy Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 You were pulling the wool over the tooth fairies eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 When I was a kid, I actually put some teeth from a dead sheep under my pillow Ewe bastard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onetrack Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 That's so baa-a-a-ad!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 That tooth fairy was the only thing I ever believed in! When I was a kid, I actually put some teeth from a dead sheep under my pillow. Did you wake up to find some nice grass there instead? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 Did you wake up to find some nice grass there instead? Yeah. It was good sh|t, man. [ATTACH]50618._xfImport[/ATTACH] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 More Phoney information and fairy stories? You can't trust anything these days. Nev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 If CrimSafe security screens are crim safe, why aren't they used in goal gaol cells? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 If CrimSafe security screens are crim safe, why aren't they used in goal cells? Because when the goalie misbehaves, he's usually just given a red card. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 Because when the goalie misbehaves, he's usually just given a red card. Convicted on the evidence of auto-correct! Etymology of the two words. jail (n.) c. 1300 (c. 1200 in surnames) "a jail, prison; a birdcage." The form in j- is from Middle English jaile, from Old French jaiole "a cage; a prison," early versions of “jail” (iaiole and iayll) appeared in the 1300s. goal (n) comes from the Norman French gaiole or gaole, Early versions of “gaol” (like gayhol and gayhole) first showed up in English in the 1200s. The two versions of the word were spelled all sorts of ways in Middle English, when our language had no letter “j”: gayhol, gayhole, gayll, gaylle, gaille, gayole, and so on. The “gaol” and “jail” spellings first showed up in the 1600s. Modern usage is for the word "jail", but it does persist in legal writings. It is said that newspapers promoted the use of "jail" simply becasue it took up less print space than "gaol" For their protection from homophobic prisoners, male homosexuals and transvestites were sent to a separate gaol in NSW. I suppose that prison could be called a gayhole. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onetrack Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 Gayhole sounds about right for prisons. I'm reminded of the American advice about going to jail (gaol). This is your a***hole, before you go to prison ...... o This is your a***hole, after you've been to prison ...... O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted February 3, 2020 Author Share Posted February 3, 2020 A woman comes home and finds her husband hanging from the ceiling with a noose around his neck He had a note pinned to his chest. She read the note and said "You spelled 'constant criticism' incorrectly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted February 3, 2020 Share Posted February 3, 2020 A woman comes home and finds her husband hanging from the ceiling with a noose around his neck He had a note pinned to his chest. She read the note and said "You spelled 'constant criticism' incorrectly. Check Planey's topic "the beauty of marriage"... a picture tells a thousand words! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted February 3, 2020 Author Share Posted February 3, 2020 Yep. Couldn't remember where I'd seen it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get gravy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 Gravity is a force which tries to pull two objects toward each other. Two of the objects in the Universe with the strongest gravitational force are an expensive tie and a forkful of gravy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pmccarthy Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 Or dog hair and a suit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 I've just found out my cousin who had a really bad stutter has sadly passed away in prison.. Poor bugger couldn't even finish his sentence! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted February 12, 2020 Share Posted February 12, 2020 Is a Mummy a person who has lost their decomposure? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted February 12, 2020 Share Posted February 12, 2020 The force of gravity is strongest between the beetroot in a hamburger and the front of a white shirt.. Nev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onetrack Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 They must've been wrapped, to find they were becoming a Mummy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted February 15, 2020 Share Posted February 15, 2020 The Wife said she was leaving me because I never stand up for myself ! ! ! I was so Damned angry. . . . I nearly said something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 [ATTACH]50705._xfImport[/ATTACH] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry_Atrick Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 Is a lady barrister without her briefs a solicitor? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 ask Nicola Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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