spacesailor Posted August 1, 2017 Share Posted August 1, 2017 Aren't the shops the wrong way round!, should be Divorce Bankruptcy then the Liquor shop. After all T Woods could have employed a top-rate prostitute, for what he paid out for the years of his marriage. LoL spacesailor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted August 1, 2017 Share Posted August 1, 2017 Aren't the shops the wrong way round!, should be Divorce Bankruptcy then the Liquor shop.After all T Woods could have employed a top-rate prostitute, for what he paid out for the years of his marriage. LoL spacesailor Imagine (pardon the pun) how much Paul McCartney went through, divesting himself of Heather Mills. Actually, you don't have to imagine... 48.6 million according to Google. That'd be a whole smorgasbord of top-shelf working girls, for as long as you lasted... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PA. Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Women are like planes, they are cheaper to rent by the hour. When Sir Paul McCartney was coming out of the court from having 48.6 million awarded to Heather Mills he was asked by a reporter if after this marriage do you ever think you will go down on one knee again? He said that was a very personal question and her name is Heather. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Pull the other one... oops, you can't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 These jokes about Paul Macartney and Heather Mills are betting badder and Bader. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 Marriage is a bad business plan regarding product suitability and value for money long term and you enter it under duress with mind not working well. There's usually a short circuit somewhere. Some are even silly enough to go into it thinking it will "cure" the sex problem by keeping things as they are , but with more certainty. You will never be the person she wanted (to make you) and when "she" realises HER mistake in marrying YOU, you will really pay for that too because it's somehow your fault as well. My Mates tell me these things so I pass them on for your guidance. Nev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yenn Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 Yes. We men go into it thinking she will always be this good and she is thinking I will soon change him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted August 31, 2017 Author Share Posted August 31, 2017 Imagine (pardon the pun) how much Paul McCartney went through, divesting himself of Heather Mills. Actually, you don't have to imagine... 48.6 million according to Google. That'd be a whole smorgasbord of top-shelf working girls, for as long as you lasted... Yes,. . .very sad story,. . Heather Mills,. . the Lady with the wooden leg. . . . Shame about her wasn't it ? ? . . .her house caught fire and although the fire service saved the place,. . . She was burnt to the ground. . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted August 31, 2017 Author Share Posted August 31, 2017 Imagine (pardon the pun) how much Paul McCartney went through, divesting himself of Heather Mills. Actually, you don't have to imagine... 48.6 million according to Google. That'd be a whole smorgasbord of top-shelf working girls, for as long as you lasted... Bit of over estimation there I think Marty,. . .I reckon that the 'Point Six' million would have managed that scenario easily. . . . . MIND YOU,. . .the 'Working Girls' around here in Cannock are not as choosy as they are dahn in Lahndon like, innit . . . . ( OH, 'So I've been told by a friend like ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted August 31, 2017 Author Share Posted August 31, 2017 Aren't the shops the wrong way round!, should be Divorce Bankruptcy then the Liquor shop.After all T Woods could have employed a top-rate prostitute, for what he paid out for the years of his marriage. LoL spacesailor Always with the criticisms. . .I dunno,. .you Toongabbie blokes are all the same. . .I met one in Melbourne,. . .name of Bruce,. . you probably know 'im. . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted August 31, 2017 Author Share Posted August 31, 2017 Yes. We men go into it thinking she will always be this good and she is thinking I will soon change him I . . . have a Missis rather like that Mr. Yenn Sir. . . .she reckons that I'm now a boring old fart who never wants to do anything. When we met,. .. at a motorcycling event, I thought that she was the one for me. . .knew a lot about British Bikes etc. . . she found out tht I was a budding Rock Music Star. .. that interested her even more, she came to all our gigs. . .then she found out tht I was into flying in a big way. . ( well Gliding actually ) and she came and did some of that. . . . Fast forward to now. 'You never take me anywhere anymore. . .sob. . . ' OK lets go flying, I'll hire a Cessna and we can fly to France, I'll take you to see the Bayeux Tapestry. . .. 'I'm too scared to go up now, those things crash all the time. . .' . OK, lets go to the Isle of Man TT, it's a nice trip on the ferry with the bike and ll our gear in the back and we can camp out. . .. . .'No, I don't want to spend a weekend around a load of drunken Bikers. . .' OK, let's go to a Rock music festival. . 'Oh no, the toilets are disgusting at those places, the food is horrible and I don't like any of the bands nowadays. . . . .' ? ? ? Sigh. My Mum ( very clever Lady ) told me that. . . 'A Man chases a Woman until she catches him. . . .' Back to Boring old fart mode and $hitposting bullcrap onto the interwebbythingummy it is then. . . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted August 31, 2017 Author Share Posted August 31, 2017 Women are like planes, they are cheaper to rent by the hour. When Sir Paul McCartney was coming out of the court from having 48.6 million awarded to Heather Mills he was asked by a reporter if after this marriage do you ever think you will go down on one knee again? He said that was a very personal question and her name is Heather. We have a sign at the airfield ( very politically incorrect - as it is one of those enameled ones you buy at airshows in America ) It says ( slightly edited due to the autobot censor) 'IF IT HAS TITS, WHEELS OR WINGS. . . . .IT WILL CAUSE YOU PROBLEMS' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted August 31, 2017 Author Share Posted August 31, 2017 Come on Peter - you promised me some more silly signs to steal. . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Oh, well done Peter. I think I wet myself a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted September 1, 2017 Author Share Posted September 1, 2017 Oh, well done Peter. I think I wet myself a little. I think I might have wet myself more than You Marty.. . .as I'm Older, and Fatter, and my sphincters are not what they used to was. . . . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spacesailor Posted September 4, 2017 Share Posted September 4, 2017 Don't the pair of you use, "Depend" briefs. LoL spacesailor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted September 4, 2017 Author Share Posted September 4, 2017 Don't the pair of you use,"Depend" briefs. LoL spacesailor 'Tena Lady'. . .OR, Incontinence rubber trousers, with the elastic straps at the ankles, as advertised by Billy Connoly on one of his Australian tours. . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PA. Posted September 10, 2017 Share Posted September 10, 2017 Taste my cooking, done in a special Dutch Oven. Sorry an R fell off the sign. Fixed it now. [ATTACH]48956._xfImport[/ATTACH] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted September 11, 2017 Share Posted September 11, 2017 Not really a silly sign - but pretty silly all the same... 'Do not shoot weapons at Irma': Florida sheriff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted September 17, 2017 Share Posted September 17, 2017 [ATTACH=full]2570[/ATTACH] Why's Andrew trying to put his nose in her mouth? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PA. Posted September 18, 2017 Share Posted September 18, 2017 Why's Andrew trying to put his nose in her mouth? Not sure but I think she'll be screwed if he does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 I think they're nuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted September 19, 2017 Author Share Posted September 19, 2017 Not sure but I think she'll be screwed if he does. * * *Breaking* * * Rapist escapes mental hospital and assaults several women workers at Chinese Laundry but manages to run away. . . . 'The Sun' Headline reads :. . . .'Nut Screws Washers and Bolts. . . . .' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted September 19, 2017 Author Share Posted September 19, 2017 Ya gotta hand it to them sub-editors. 'The SUN' ( Murdoch Rag ) is famous for it's 'Quirky' headlines . . . if they can't make a play on words about anything, then they put it on page 23, below the sports and astrology stuff and the 'Toons'. . . .. . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry_Atrick Posted September 21, 2017 Share Posted September 21, 2017 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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