Marty_d Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 1 hour ago, Yenn said: I have only got one left ball. Does that mean that I am like Hitler. Hopefully your differences outweigh your similarities... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 2 hours ago, Yenn said: I have only got one left ball. Does that mean that I am like Hitler. You poor bastard. That's a nazi situation to be in. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 OME!! Jew can't say that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomadpete Posted January 14, 2021 Share Posted January 14, 2021 Marty, are you saying that having only one leftie is a problem? I thought it would only be a problem if you have more than one leftie (or maybe less than one). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted January 14, 2021 Share Posted January 14, 2021 18 hours ago, Marty_d said: OME!! Jew can't say that. Sometimes I just can't Czech myself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yenn Posted January 14, 2021 Share Posted January 14, 2021 A bloke went to the doctor with pains in his scrotum and after examination the doctor told him he had three balls. Wow. He couldn't contain his delight and went to the pub and sidled up to a big hairy bloke and said "Do you know between us we have five balls" to which the big bloke replied in a high pitched voice "My word, you must have a cluster" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted January 14, 2021 Share Posted January 14, 2021 5 hours ago, nomadpete said: Marty, are you saying that having only one leftie is a problem? I thought it would only be a problem if you have more than one leftie (or maybe less than one). You'd tend to bank left, wouldn't you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted January 14, 2021 Author Share Posted January 14, 2021 My mate at the Men's Shed who supplies 90% of the funny stuff I post on this site had a problem during the lockdown period. He told us his testicles swelled to the size of a mango. Obviously it was quite painful. When I last saw him a couple of weeks before Christmas, he said they had shrunk to the size of an egg. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willedoo Posted January 15, 2021 Share Posted January 15, 2021 Crikey, I hope they were only the size of the old stringy mangoes and not those big hybrid R2E2 ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted January 15, 2021 Share Posted January 15, 2021 12 hours ago, red750 said: My mate at the Men's Shed who supplies 90% of the funny stuff I post on this site had a problem during the lockdown period. He told us his testicles swelled to the size of a mango. Obviously it was quite painful. When I last saw him a couple of weeks before Christmas, he said they had shrunk to the size of an egg. Hopefully more "sparrow" than "emu". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yenn Posted January 15, 2021 Share Posted January 15, 2021 If they were the colour of the R2E2 he would be worth a fortune. Pity they taste so poor, the mangos I mean. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Share Posted January 21, 2021 In the 1400's, a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed To beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the Rule Of Thumb' 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Share Posted January 21, 2021 Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden.' And thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Share Posted January 21, 2021 The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Share Posted January 21, 2021 Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Share Posted January 21, 2021 The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% Now get This: The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Share Posted January 21, 2021 The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400 (Still a LOT cheaper than raising a child! :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Share Posted January 21, 2021 Believe it or not, you can read it. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sltil raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? That's why we can read Jerry's posts. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry_Atrick Posted January 21, 2021 Share Posted January 21, 2021 You sohuld try litsieng to me 😃 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spacesailor Posted January 21, 2021 Share Posted January 21, 2021 Hey thets mi problom , i ate wereing mi eharing ade, and with yur masc on l am going DEF! !. spasesalor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 1 hour ago, Jerry_Atrick said: You sohuld try litsieng to me 😃 I bottle of good Aussie Red and he has the ability to talk in tongues. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted January 22, 2021 Author Share Posted January 22, 2021 111,111,111 X 111,111,111 = 12345678987654321. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomadpete Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 56 minutes ago, old man emu said: I bottle of good Aussie Red and he has the ability to talk in tongues. I'm even more talented than that. I can even do it with a bottle of cheap Aussie Red ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 Just now, nomadpete said: I can even do it with a bottle of cheap Aussie Red ! Sorry, I was catering to a better class of orator. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry_Atrick Posted January 22, 2021 Share Posted January 22, 2021 11 hours ago, red750 said: The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% Yes - but that includes New York, Chicago, Atlanta, and Philadelphia! 9 hours ago, old man emu said: I bottle of good Aussie Red and he has the ability to talk in tongues. I think you will find the cheaper the wine, the more tongues I can speak.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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