Daft Definitions

[old man emu]

CONUMDRUM: 

The drum that a sideshow spruiker beats to attract a crowd to be fleeced.

[onetrack]

CATITTUDE:

The arrogant and aloof attitude, that only cats can have.

 

Edited February 28, 2021 by onetrack

[Marty_d]

1. Coffee (N.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (V.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (V.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (Adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (Adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (V.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (N.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (N.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (N.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (N.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (N.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (N), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (N.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (N.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (N.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

 

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

 

1. Bozone (N.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (V): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (N.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (N): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (N): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (V): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (N): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (N): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (N): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (N.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (V): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (N): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (N.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (N.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (N.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating. 

16. Ignoranus (N): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

 

With thanks to:  https://carma.newcastle.edu.au/resources/jon/Preprints/Oddments/werds.pdf

[red750]

22 hours ago, Marty_d said:

6. Negligent (Adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

Why have you got a door in your nightgown?

[Marty_d]

1 hour ago, red750 said:

Why have you got a door in your nightgown?

Why not???  

[old man emu]

1 hour ago, red750 said:

Why have you got a door in your nightgown?

 

42 minutes ago, Marty_d said:

Why not???  

“Perhaps the less we have, the more we are required to brag.” ― John Steinbeck

[pmccarthy]

It’s for Wee Willie Winkie, upstairs and down.

[Marty_d]

Now I'm confused.  Maybe my boudoir experience is limited compared to you guys, but the original item of clothing was a negligee... when I picture one in my mind, the doorway doesn't open to reveal Wee Willie.

[pmccarthy]

Peter Wherret was wearing it.