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Useless as tits on a bull


old man emu
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I've been wanting to pick up a couple of steel shelving units for my garage, but haven't had a suitable vehicle to do the job with. My son finally bought himself at "ute", one of those big crew cab jobbies. It's a Colorado, but just the same as a Hi-Ace. I immediately thought, "Here's my chance to get those units!"

 

I had a look at his "ute". The cargo area is short. There are no tie-down points. There's no frame behind the cabin that I could lean the units onto. Then he says, "You'll have to be careful because the edges of the cargo area are fibreglass and could get broken. Luckily there's a tow bar.

 

What a waste of money! You couldn't fit a couple of bales of hay, two or three star pickets and a drum of sheep dip in the back without having to leave the dogs at home. Sure, the cabin is luxurious as a Rolls Royce, but the Aussie concept of a ute was a vehicle that you could take the wife to church on Sunday and the pigs to market on Monday.

 

These crew cabs aren't utes. They are Double Bay Deutzs and Toorak tractors. They're as useless as tits on a bull.

 

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I've come to a similar conclusion myself about twin cab utes.. macho toys not much practical purpose. All got about the same sized (weak ) chassis and the overhang at the rear is excessive. Same with the SUV's Supposed or Soft Or suburban USELESS vehicles. They are easy to get into though, sporty and reasonable handling. Probably don't need to be 4WD. FWD is good enough and cheaper than RWD. Great in mountainous areas where you have uphill sharp corners. I always say "an ashtray on a superbike" Most blokes don't know how to spell teats.Nev

 

 

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"Tits on a bull" was the way my poor, old, son of an Irish migrant, grandfather used to say it.

 

Etymology

 

Borrowed from Old French tete (“teat”) from Frankish *titta, from Germanic. It replaced Old English titt, which survives as tit. Old French was the language spoken in Northern France from the 8th century to the 14th century - the Norman period.

 

It's "teat" if you are a Norman French invader, and "tit" if you were Saxon.

 

 

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I wonder what the average dairy Farmer calls them. I think it's the way I do. Yours make a Tom-tit into a sex object. for some people, when it's a nice petit oiseau. actually.. Yeah, My folks were probably on the Bayeax Tapestries. Good lookers aren't they?. Nev

 

 

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I have been to Bayeux and have seen the Bayeux Tapestry. It was quite interesting. They had headsets you put on and as you walked down looking at it the various sections were explained to you. It was the week after Princess Dianna was buried. I was doing a job for a couple of weeks over in Ottawa and the guy I was working with we had decided before we left here to have a 7 days off in England and France on the way back. I wanted to do the aircraft museums like Yoevilton and Duxford etc and he wanted to do the beaches at Normandy as we was a war/military fan. It so happened I was having a drink at the bar next door in Ottawa when the news came through on the tv about Dianna. Could not believe the flowers everywhere in England after the funeral.

 

I find it interesting how many people dont know about the Tapestry and the story of it.

 

Sorry for the ramble here but the Tapestry bought back memories that at the time was a very important time in my life

 

 

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Back to the useless tits.....You are right the ute of today are a show thing and not practical at all. We have a Isuzu tray back at work we use...it is useful but thats all it is used for is deliveries. We can fit 2 full pallets on the back to do deliveries of the product we manufacture and pickups that we need to get. It really is the only thing you can use nowdays. These twin cab show ponys are just that....just for the city dwellers to think they are cool

 

 

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Hey, I resemble that!

 

I have a Nissan twin cab and we do use it for long gravel road trips, towing our humble camper trailer. It has been in 4wd daily for 10 years ( steep driveway that keeps do-gooders from trying to save our souls).

 

It is NOT a show pony!

 

 

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steep driveway that keeps do-gooders from trying to save our souls

Doesn't stop the buggers coming down ours. Mind you they don't stay long when I tell them that due to a religious upbringing I'm now a happy atheist.

 

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

It was my 60th birthday the other day...I was wondering what the wife had got me as she wanted to borrow the Mondeo Wagon to pick up my birthday present as it wouldn't fit in her Focus even with the seats down. Anyway I soon found out, it was a new garage workbench that is almost 2m long...you may know I went from a ford faimont wagon that is built on the longer Fairlane chassis and I could sleep laid out in the back...the Mondeo is considered a medium size car but I can still sleep in the back laid out and I am exactly 6ft. You have to wonder about utes these days for anything other than pure work horse to carry large high things in as I can fit so much in the back of my Mondeo (it also has a tow bar and its diesel) and I get 5.5 litres per 100 klms and a ute would use twice the fuel

 

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