Quickies part 2

[rgmwa]

Took me a while to work it out but I got there despite my relative youth.

[Jerry_Atrick]

I only heard it for the first time in 2018. 

 

I led a sheltered life. 

[facthunter]

ME 2. Nev

[nomadpete]

Unbelievable!

 

America failed to win gold for shooting, at the Olympics!

 

 

(Well, it wasn't held in a school)

[Marty_d]

Edgy but still good!

[pmccarthy]

52 minutes ago, nomadpete said:

Unbelievable!

 

America failed to win gold for shooting, at the Olympics!

 

 

(Well, it wasn't held in a school)

There's an idea for a new Olympic sport! School shootings with an assault rifle. The Americans would romp it in.

[Litespeed]

Too soon?

 

Nah

[facthunter]

Trump would WIN a "shooting your Mouth off" Contes,t hands  down. Nev

[Jerry_Atrick]

Yeah, but he'd not be allowed to compete while suffering football in mouth disease 

[red750]

The Pope and Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

 

The Pope leans toward Trump and said, "Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!"

 

Trump says, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!"

 

So the Pope slaps him.

[facthunter]

Better IF he could ZAP him. Nev

[red750]

What is Swedish for "speed hump"?

 

Fart hinder.  Fart is Swedish for speed.

 

[onetrack]

I always keep control of any fart. To do otherwise is dangerous, and can be embarrassing.

[facthunter]

You need a snappy sphincter. If it's someone else say "Pardon Me" and you may be rewarded. Nev

[pmccarthy]

Get a dog.

[onetrack]

Yes, the poor old dog gets blamed for everything. But when a dog farts, it leaves any human farts for dead.

[nomadpete]

Our dog used to glare at me and roll his eyes when I farted.

I think he learnt that from my wife.

 

Life is so unfair sometimes.

 

 

 

Edited 21 hours ago by nomadpete

[facthunter]

What you eat alters FART smell.  (and quantity).  Nev

[old man emu]

It's said that baked beans make you fart. That's only if you don't eat them regularly. If your gut environment is used to them, they are digested like any other high fibre food. 

 

Question: Do vegan farts smell different from omnivore farts?

[facthunter]

It's not Part of my knowledge Base . Eggs make Rotten egg gas. Hydrogen sulphide from memory. You can make that in the science Lab. Nev

[pmccarthy]

SWMBO can leave the house for ten minutes o two hours. But you can guarantee that when I let a big one rip, she will walk in immediately afterward.

[ClintonB]

10 hours ago, facthunter said:

What you eat alters FART smell.  (and quantity).  Nev

I must be eating twice dead skunk, not that I remember it.😁

[Marty_d]

Curried egg and red onion is a potent combination.

[onetrack]

Mushroom does it for me. I hate mushrooms anyway, and will never touch them under any circumstances - but sometimes, some chef or cook will sneak mushrooms into a dish I've ordered and eaten, and I don't find out until my anal region starts exploding, with a smell that makes a sewerage plant smell like a Chanel perfume factory. And the damage keeps up for 2 to 3 days. 

 

It also happens when I see a dish, and it mentions mushrooms as an ingredient - so I ask if I can have without mushrooms. This generally results in the cook just scooping out the visible mushrooms, but leaving all the mushroom sauce. The result is the same as eating mushrooms.