Quickies part 2

[red750]

They say the more colourful your salad is the better it is for you, so I replaced my croutons with M & M's.

[old man emu]

You're a Smartie.

[red750]

I got a brochure in the mail for a prepaid cremation.

 

Special offer:  If I die in a fire I get half my money back.

[nomadpete]

Had raw cheese once in the south of France. Wonderful stuff. Of course, dealing with the cryptosporidium for the next month or so was shitty.

[onetrack]

My doctor said I only had ten weeks to live - but when I couldn’t pay the bill, he gave me another six months.

[onetrack]

I used to work in a lab with an incredibly ambitious bloke who was obsessed with collecting skulls. Just obsessed!! Like, he would do anything to get ahead.

[facthunter]

A skull is a rather empty Head. ( Just a thought). Nev

[ClintonB]

[red750]

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town.

 

Things were getting hot and heavy when the girl stopped the boy. “I really should have mentioned this earlier. Actually, I'm a hooker and charge $20.00 for sex." she said. 

 

The boy just looked at her for a couple of seconds, but then reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing and they did their thing. After the cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25.”