-
Posts
12,505 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
620
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Downloads
Blogs
Events
Our Shop
Movies
Posts posted by red750
-
-
Why Go to Church?
One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied,
"I'm not going." "Why not?" she asked. I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "(1), they don't like me, and (2), I don't like them."
His mother replied, "I'll give you two good reasons why you SHOULD go to church:
(1) You're 59 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!"
-
1
-
-
The Picnic
A JewishRabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.
"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion,
but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing.
You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham.
Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."
-
1
-
1
-
-
-
-
-
The reason I posted that news item was regarding the banning of sharing meat from anything you killed. I don't know if it's still done in the bush - I've lived in the city since 1960 - but when I was a high school student, my father would occasionally slaughter a sheep and share some with neighbours. As the article says, shoot half a dozen rabbits, you can't give one to your brother.
-
1
-
-
-
-
Video compiled from photographs taken by the Mars explorers.
-
1
-
2
-
-
-
-
Yet again - 233rd mass shooting.
https://edition.cnn.com/us/live-news/tulsa-hospital-shooting-06-01-22/index.html
-
1
-
-
-
Here are a couple you might like.
Whether the wether will survive the weather.
The boys left their bikes near the bridge and they're going back there to get them.
-
1
-
-
-
-
-
Ahh...the Mother tongue...
-
1
-
1
-
-
-
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
Now here's one to test you. It is quite long (I used copy and paste). See if you can read this aloud, pronouncing every word correctly. Bet you stumble (well maybe not OME).
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.Pronunciation — think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.Finally, which rhymes with enough —
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!-
3
-
3
-
-
There have been 17 mass shootings since Uvalde. A mass shooting is defined as where 4 or more people not including the offender are killed or wounded.
In another incident in South Carolina, a man "with history", fired bullets into the walls of his house, then fired at a parked car where a man and his 8 year old son were sitting. The son was hit in the neck and later died. The offended thought they were coming to get him. Police said he is "now in custody".
-
1
-
-
- Popular Post
- Popular Post
Quickies part 2
in Funnies
Posted
Goat for Dinner
The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner.
While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.
"Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.' "