red750

Many years ago when working in a Bank in Brisbane I was asked by our Melbourne Office to quickly jump in a car and resolve an issue with a client in Cairns.

I worked for a small software company (a staff of 8), based in Mitcham, Vic, in 1993. I was sent to install their software package at the Bundaberg Sugar Refinery. A round trip involving 5 flights in one day. Paid for by Bundy Sugar. The install took less than 30 minutes.

I haven't heard of figures like 1 metre.

Premier Alphabet said it was over a metre in the last week.

As Rowan Atkinson put it, Hell has no toilets - eternal damnation without relief.

Eye-roll button required.

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1 Low Battery: A man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'Low Battery'. Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal.

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2 Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them; they said it would be just like winning Lotto ! I agreed, and they were right. We all stripped off, and to my horror, we had six matching balls !

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3 Got a new Jack Russell pup today. He's mainly black and brown with just a small white area. I've called him England .

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4 If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's spam.

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5 They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.

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6 Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Woolies. Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.

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7 63 Pakistanis died on Christmas Island this morning. It was not a terrorist attack. A bunk bed in the detention centre collapsed. The police are blaming AL IKEA .

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A real grease monkey.

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OK Marty, I'll pop up from the other side. I don't drink or smoke, and therefore have never been drunk. My beverages of choice are coffee, iced coffee or zero sugar lemonade. On the rare occasion I go to a pub (my son is manager and part owner of one) for a bistro meal, my wife and I drink lemon squash. I don't see a need for any "mind altering" substance. By the way, my father didn't drink either (he liked Sarsaparilla).

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I'm sick of hearing about these idiots who have been told over and over till the cows come home, how deadly this sh!t is, and yet they continue to put the pills in their mouth. Testing will only pick up the pills that are found, not the ones which get through the net (which is most of them, it appears). If these stupid twits want to risk their lives, let the b*ggers die. As for those pushing the rubbish, they should be charged with murder or attempted murder.

I know, I'll cop heaps of flack over this statement, but some people wont be told.

What surprises me is that, with the take-up of solar panels being so high, that there should have been blackouts in a couple of states when the temp got a bit high.

You know that only white people can be racist, the same as only men can be abusive.

I'm not advocating that we do nothing, But closing down the few coal powered generators before we have our renewable sources in place is like selling the house before we have somewhere else to go. Get the renewables in place first.

Here's one for you to attack and debunk.I was sent this by email.

OH COME ON..YOU ALL BELIEVE IN GLOBAL WARMING AND THE CARBON TAX ‘ YOU ARE AUSTRALIANS!!

INTERESTING.

Hmmm - saving the planet - here we go!

Here's a small sample of how many coal plants there are in the world today.

The EU has 468 plants building 27 more for a total of 495

Turkey has 56 plants building 93 more total 149

South Africa has 79 building 24 more total 103

India has 589 building 446 more total 1036

Philippines has 19 building 60 more total 79

South Korea has 58 building 26 more total 84

Japan has 90 building 45 more total 135

AND CHINA has 2363 building 1171 total 3534

Here come our AUSTRALIAN politicians that are going to shut down our 6

remaining plants and save the planet !!

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My apologies, I didn't realise English was a second or third language for so many,

I don't know Italian, German or Japanese - so I don't attempt to write or speak them.

People who use incorrect spelling are using a different language.

Spell checker is for correcting inadvertent typo's. If you can't spell a word, don't use it.