red750

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My apologies, I didn't realise English was a second or third language for so many,

I don't know Italian, German or Japanese - so I don't attempt to write or speak them.

People who use incorrect spelling are using a different language.

Spell checker is for correcting inadvertent typo's. If you can't spell a word, don't use it.

And more-

Q. What is the fibula?

A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?

A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control ?

A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'?

A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness

A. When you are sick at the airport.

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)

Q. Name the four seasons ?

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. How is Dew formed ?

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?

A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?

A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids ?

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)

Q. What happens to your body as you age ?

A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty ?

A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes ?

A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination ?

A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

My son was on Rod Laver Arena in the Wawrinka -Raonic match. Had to watch four hours (including rain break) to get a couple of glimpses. He was centre line umpire at the end most of the telecast is made from, so was underneath the cameras, I recorded four hours, edited down to 10 kinutes, to get these images photographed from the telly.

Behind Wawrinka

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Behind Raonic. The hat was before the rain delay, the cap after.

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Trump party - Big Macs, KFC, Pizzas.

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Blondes - nothing else needs saying.

A friend sent me a hilarious video of a blonde at a service station, trying to put petrol in a Tesla. Unfortunately, it is an MP4 video which cannot be uploaded to this site. PM me with you email if you would like me to send it to you.

I had to go out to special vet in Bayswater a couple of days ago. Noticed a service station with a lot of panels on the roof. Checked Google Satellite view - counted 80 panels.

And look at these factories in Bayswater.

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On politics politics, I see Clive P is in strife again - going to be sued for plagiarizing "Karma Chameleon" for his game app. Palmer Chameleon.

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60

And heading towards 70 or beyond!

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now will never wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks

into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15 Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends , because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

Forward this to everyone you can remember

Right now!

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Never, NEVER, NEVER ,

Under any circumstances,

Take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on

The same night!

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Here is a link to a test conducted by Breathalyzer in WA which explains the reading. Interesting, though.

Breathalyzer test

Further to the discussion of hot cross buns, a segment on Sunrise this morning showed a female truckie with a breath testing machine. She blew into the machine and showed it registered 0.000. Then she took one bite of a hot cross bun, ate it, blew the test again, and registered 0.018. So don't eat hot cross buns then drive!

I was in the supermarket with my daughter last night, and she pointed out that they now have hot cross bun flavoured ice cream - I kid you not.

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The Hobart tournament is not being covered, on the mainland anyway.

Channel 10's Shawrk Tank judge/investor Steve Baxter was scammed in a fake ad for Bitcoin Trader.

The advertisement claims judges Glen Richards and Baxter engaged in a “bidding war” over online Bitcoin trading and purchasing business Bitcoin Trader, with a fake deal for $2.5 million for 20% of the company outlined. Boost Juice founder Janine Allis was also roped into the scam, with the fake article claiming the shark bought $250 worth of Bitcoin during the pitch, before seeing it increase in value $73 just three minutes later.

The fake article also included a number of illegitimate quotes attributed to the sharks and various supposed Bitcoin Trader users.

This isn’t the first time Baxter has been impersonated in a scam online; earlier this year, he shared a LinkedIn post when a number of similar fake articles popped up online claiming Baxter was promoting a scheme for “getting rich quick from binary options”. Baxter expressed his outrage at being targeted in such a way, labelling those who execute such scams as “one evolutionary stage below pond scum”.

“It’s not just me; almost anybody with a high public profile gets caught in these scams and closing them down is like playing whack-a-mole — the buggers always pop up elsewhere (I have found out it sort of goes with the territory),” Baxter said presciently

The block we owned is the grey house but when we owned it, it looked like the one on the left

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I don't know where you get them, Phil, but I wish you wouldn't.