red750

Yeah, I know. But I don't have the $276. Barely have $2-76.

My gripe today is with the wind. You look out today and not a leaf, not a blade of grass is moving. Get out the rake and pull a pile of fallen leaves together, and a gust blows them all over the place to the right, then dies down. Rake them up again and another gust blows them to the left. Extremely frustrating. Lots of naughty words.

Putin sounds out military commanders on Ukraine

Report, photos, video here.

10 hours ago, rgmwa said:

He and Alison Krause have performed regularly in recent years.

That's probably who he was singing with, I didn't catch her name. He said,

"Let's sing this one together. (Whomever) will start us off in true bluegrass style."

and some guy started playing the fiddle. After midnight, so I packed up and went to bed.

You ain't gonna believe this.

I finished watching my TV program just after midnight, and flicked back through the channels (Foxtel) before going to bed. I get to the MTV channel, and who should be on there singing.....Robert Plant. Not some old video from years ago, either.

An elderly man driving along the highway one evening when all of a sudden nature calls.
He sees a little bar up the way and he pulls into the parking lot.
When he gets inside, he finds the place is packed!
The bar is crowded with people trying to get drinks, ladies are dancing on the tables and there’s hardly standing room anywhere.
The old man scans the place a couple of times to find the restrooms but to no avail.
Finally, he spots a small stairway and scrambles up.
When he gets to the top, he discovers that all the doors are locked.
All but one.
When he opens the door, all he sees is a big hole in the floor.
Desperate, he drops his pants and dumps the biggest load he’s ever had right there in the hole.
Relieved, he calmly walks down the stairs.
The once crowded barroom is completely empty, not a soul was in sight.
Slowly, a bartender rises from behind the bar.
“What happened!?!” says the old man.
The bartender responds
“Where were you when the sh!t hit the fan?!”

A science teacher asked her students “Children, if you could own one mineral what would it be?
one boy said, “I would choose gold. Its worth lots of money and I could buy a Corvette.”
Another boy said ” I would want platinum because its worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche.”
the teacher said, “Johnny, What would you want?
Johnny said “I would want silicone.”
“Why would you want silicone?” Asked the teacher
“Well my mom got some, he replied. And there’s always a Porsche or Corvette sitting in our driveway

Provided the brick yacht displaces water weighing more than itself, it should float. There have been many cement yachts, like this one near our old men's shed, although it looks like it has never been near water. It has been there for more than the 10 years I have attended the shed, and from the size of the tree and hedge it doesn't look like it has moved an inch.

While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
~ Henny Youngman

5 hours ago, spacesailor said:

THE FUTURE GHETTOS .

What do you mean 'future'. Many are currently.

Lives lost on Victorian roads in 2021 was 220. So far in 2022, the figure is 237, up 7.7%

In 1969, this figure was 1034, which coined the campaign "Declare war on ten thirty four." This led to the introduction of seatbelts.

Here's one for O.M.E.

I was just watching The Last Leg with Adam Hills. He showed a video of the worst driving test ever.

The girl was sitting at the wheel, with the examiner beside her. She looks over her shoulder, then at the outside mirror, then the inside morror. She turns on the indicator, puts the gears into 1st, releases the handbrake, but nothing happens. She puts on the handbrake, puts the car in neutral and starts over. Same result. She goes through the whole procedure a third time, but still not moving.

Then the examiner says, "You haven't started the engine.'

This from the Sydney Morning Herald:

The couple at the centre of the Wieambilla shooting had posted videos online in the weeks leading up to, and night of, the fatal confrontation with police on their regional Queensland property, in which they claimed to have killed the “devils” and “demons”.

A since-deleted YouTube account and alternative video hosting site feature details from the lives of Stacey and Gareth Train — along with his brother Nathaniel, who does not feature but is spoken about — weeks before Monday’s events.

In the most recent of the videos posted to the Mrs Yugi Girawil YouTube channel, published at 7.39pm on Monday, Gareth said: “They came to kill us and we killed them”.

“If you don’t defend yourself against these devils and demons you’re a coward,” Gareth says.

One of the accounts features the name Daniel, Gareth’s middle name. The pair refer to themselves as Daniel and Jane in the videos. Jane was Stacey’s middle name.

All three were shot and killed by police after what has been described as an “ambush” killing of two of the four officers sent to the property — constables Matthew Arnold and Rachel McCrow — about 4.30pm in response to a NSW police missing person report for Nathaniel.

Neighbour Alan Dare was also shot dead after going to investigate the hours-long siege.

One thing I left out of my post above was 'conspiracy theorists'.

From reports in the news, and I know you guys don't believe a word of it, they were American-style redneck, gun loving doomsdaay preppers who had a hate against the world, and supposedly, two brothers married to the same woman. Total nutters.