red750
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Posts posted by red750
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Saw a brief clip on TV where Brian Johnson (AC/DC) and Joe Walsh (The Eagles) were discussing using aliases when they travel to avoid attracting crowds. Joe said one of his aliases was Frank Sumatra.
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- Popular Post
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An Infantry Major was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.
While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the Major decided to pose a question to all assembled.He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.
He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"
A Captain chimed in with 75-25% in favour of work.
A Lieutenant said it was 50-50%.
A 2nd Lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favour of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.There being no consensus, the Major turned to the Private who was in charge of making the coffee.
What was his opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young Private responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."
The Major was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
The room fell silent.-
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An old man thinks he is going to lose his driving license and all just because of a stupid police officer.
The conversation went like this when the old man got pulled over in his car:
Officer: “Can I see your driving license please, I think you are drunk!”
Old man: “I assure you, I do not drink alcohol.”
Officer: “Ok, let’s do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a motorway at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?”
Old Man: “A car.”
Officer: “Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?”
Old Man: “I have no idea!”
Officer: “So, you’re drunk.”
Old Man: “But I don’t drink alcohol.”
Officer: “Okay, one more test — Imagine, you drive in the dark on a motorway at night, and there is one light coming at you. What is it?
Old Man: “A motorcycle.”
Officer: “Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Yamaha?”
Old man: “I have no idea!”
Officer: “As I suspected, you’re drunk!”
Then the old man started to get annoyed and asked him a counter-question;
Old Man: “So…, counter-question. You’re driving in the dark on a motorway at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?”
Officer: “A prost!tute of course.”
Old man: “Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?”
Things went downhill from there and now the old man have a court date to attend…-
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I thought a little old car like the Escort above might just about suit me. Looked them up on the net and people are asking $29000 - $35000 for them. A brand new MG has been advertised on telly for under $20000.
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And here are the final solutions to tidy things up. Sorry to have bothered you.
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No nibbles?
OK.It's Jon Cryer, aka Alan Harper, from Two and a Half Men.
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Intercepted phone conversations reveal just how badly Russian soldiers are suffering
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That's why my daughter can't wait to get her hands on this place and knock it down and start over. She says there are too many problems to try and fix.
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Solution 5.
And the last (you'll be glad to know.)
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Beware of tidying up. That's when you throw out something two days before you need it.
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For many years, my father, in his 70's plus, played Patience (or Solitaire) for hours. Always had the card table set up.
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1 hour ago, Jerry_Atrick said:
I had no idea Margaret Urlich (NZ) had passed away..
Reported this thread.
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Old K, when you enter "Recreational Flying Aircraft" in the browser search bar, I think you will find it comes up with an option which will link you to the summary in 'latest first order' page, the same as when you click on Aircraft in the RF menu. However, I think you may need to register as a member to view a full profile. My laptop is set up with 'remember me' so I am automatically logged in when I power up. Can't find a log out button to test it.
As you know, selecting the category on the right menu bar takes you to a listing in alphabetic order.'
Silly Picture Thread.
in Funnies
Posted