red750

Justice Party Leaader Derryn Hinch lost his seat so he's going to stand for the Vic Upper House.

Wiilie sad: "I guess every silver lining has a cloud. Hanson has been re-elected to the senate."

That prevented big Clive from getting a seat. $100mil for no gain!

1 hour ago, Bruce Tuncks said:

My understanding is that the longer you keep them on the line, the more you cost them

No Bruce, they hang up leaving a missed call, and if you return the call, they keep you on the line running up your bill. It's like a 1300 call, showing a different number, and the accrued call cost is returned to them. Like the TV/radio competitions where a lucky caller wins a prize paid for by the calls of non-winners at premium rates. Only thing is, the scammers don't pay a prize.

There are lots of stories on soshul meja quoting former NASA astronauts and Russian cosmonauts telling tales of objects seen and photographed from the ISS or Apollo missions etc., including Michael Collins and Buzz Aldrin, but which have been classified and suppressed by their governments, and only now being leaked long after they have retired.

You talk about the proliferation of cameras and smart phones. For want of anything better to watch, I have been watching a series on the Foxtel Animal Kingdom channel called Finding Bigfoot, in which a group of people calling themselves the Bigfoot Research Organisation (BFRO) who travel around (including Asia and Australia) researching Bigfoot/Saschatch/Yowies. They hold town hall meetings across America, asking residents to raise their hand if they think they have seen or heard a bigfoot. Sometimes 20 or more raise their hand and are interviewed about the location and circumstances of their encounter, then the team spend the night in those locations hoping to come across the creatures. They use night vision and IFR cameras, position motion sensor activated cameras on trees, etc., and although capturing "possible" images at long distance, have not yet photographed one. The reported sightings are recreated using CGI, but nothing actual. AS the late comedian Mitch Hedberg used to say, "Bigfoot is blurry." They come across large footprints up to 18 lean-to shelters made of branches, beds made of long grass piled up, bones of animals killed and eaten, (a favorite trick so they say, is for the bigfoot to break the leg of a deer or other animal so it can't escape.) But never any bones of deceased bigfoots.

That's where my undies went.

A girl was trying on new shoes.

She said to the sales person, "They're too tight."

Salaesperson said, "Try with the tongue out"

Girl says, "No. Thtill thoo thight."

Right on, Gareth.

A mother brought her daughter to the doctor when the teen was experiencing some very specific symptoms.

The doctor asked, “Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem?”

The mother responded, “It’s my daughter, Darla — she keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight and is sick most mornings.”

The doctor examined Darla before coming to his conclusion.

“Well, I don’t know how to tell you this but Darla is pregnant, about four months would be my guess,” the doctor said.

The mother was shocked.

“Pregnant? She can’t be, she has never ever been left alone with a man,” the panicked mother says. “Have you, Darla?”

Darla tries to cover for herself, telling her mom, “No mother! I’ve never even kissed a man!”

At that moment, the doctor quietly walked over to the window. He stared outside for a few minutes, not saying a word, until the mother finally decided she needed to know what he was doing.

“Is there something wrong out there doctor?” the mother asks.

“No, not really, it’s just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill,” he said. “I’ll be darned if I’m going to miss it this time!”

Here's another one.

OK. No-one guessed it. It's Patrick Duffy, Bobby Ewing from Dallas.

Panties On A Plane

Three large black ladies were getting ready to take a plane trip for the very first time.

The first lady said, 'I don't know bout y'all, but I'm gunna put me on sum hot pink panties be efo' I gets on dat plane.'

'Why you gonna wear dem fo?' the other two asked.

The first replied, 'Cuz, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dare laying butt-up in a conefield, dey gonna find me first.

' The second lady said, 'Well, then I'm a-gonna wear me some floe res ant orange panties.'

'Why you gonna wear dem?' the others asked.

The second lady answered, 'Cuz if dis hare plane is goin' down and I be floating butt-up in the oshun, dey can see me first.'

The third lady says, 'Well, I'm not gonna wear any panties.'

'Wot? No panties?' the others asked in disbelief.

The third lady says, 'Dat's right girls, you hears me right. I ain't wearing no panties, cos, honey, dey always look for da Black Box first

Just received a call on my wife's old mobile.

"This is (unintelligible) from Telstra Internet. How are you today?"

"So you are calling from Calcutta..."    Beeeeeep   Didn't get to finish the sentence before he hung up.

The Fair Work Comission has granted a 5.2% increase in the minimum wage from July 1. 

Meanwhile, Members of Parliament are getting a pay rise, after a decision made by the Independent Renumeration Tribunal.
All MPs are getting a 2.75 per cent pay rise, taking the base salary for backbenchers to $217,060.
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese's salary will go up to $564,000, and Opposition Leader Peter Dutton will earn $401,000 a year.

That means that a backbencher earns(?) $191,382 p.a. more than someone on the full pension ($987.60 per fortnight).

My wifes email and mine get four or five emails A DAY saying our McAfee or Norton is expiring/expired, even though we use another antivirus program. 

When you try replying to the email to tell them to p*ss off, it says "unable to send - spam". Why doesn't it say that to them?