red750

This was written by a cricketer's wife in fun - New Zealand's greatest all-rounder, the late Martin Crowe's wife, Lorraine Downes. Apparently, she had a great sense of humor and to be a wife of a cricketer, you must've an even bigger sense of humor and understanding. So here it goes.... 

Come all ye fair young maidens, 

harken unto me,

Never trust a cricketer,

whoever he may be.

Randier than a sailor

who's been six months at sea,

Never let a cricketer's hand

an inch above your knee. 

First let's take the paceman,

pure speed from first to last,

My darlings do be careful;

his balls are hard and fast.

Then there's the medium pacer,

his balls swing either way;

He's really most persistent

and can keep it up all day!

Watch out for the off-spinner girls, 

another awkward chap.

If you leave him half an opening

he will slip one through the gap!

Then there's the wily 'slowy',

pure cunning is his strength;

He'll tempt you, 

then he'll trap you with his very subtle length.

So ladies, do be careful,

your mothers would agree.

Never trust a cricketer,

whoever he may be.

And what about the opening bat, 

his struggles never cease!

He has only one ambition,

to spend all day at the crease.

The number three is a dasher,

he seldom prods and pokes.

When he goes into action,

he has a fine array of strokes..

And do beware the slogger,

not content with one or two;

When he arrives at the crease

then only six will do.

Then there's the real stonewaller.

Girls! he knows what he's about;

And if you let him settle in,

it's hard to get him out!

We come now to the last man,

I hope this will not shock,

He doesn't mind if he's last man in, 

as long as he gets a knock.

So, darlings, do be careful,

and be well warned by me:

Never trust a cricketer,

whoever he may be.

And watch the wicketkeeper.

Girls! he's full of flair and dash;

And if you raise your heel,

he'll whip them off in a flash.

If you take the field with the capt'n, 

you had better know the score; 

Or he'll have you in positions 

that you never knew before!

The cricket commentator

is a nasty sort of bloke,

He watches all the action

and describes it stroke by stroke.

Even the kindly umpire,

who looks as friendly as a pup.

You'll quickly find you've had it, 

when he puts his finger up!

So, darlings, please remember

and repeat it after me:

"NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER, WHOEVER HE MAY BE!!!!!"

Oops - not oncologist, I meant cardiologist.

This is insane..

All parking is pay parking. The hospital is on the corner of two main rods, so no street parking for over 100 metres in any direction. First half hour free, then $9.00 for next hour. I used to be able to go to my oncologist and be back before the half hour was up, but not any longer.

re: Above post.

Saw a story about a workman removing a mural. Next day he came back and found a mural of himself removing the mural.

Shingles

Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this!

Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line in Australia?
Here's what happened to Kevin: 

Kevin walked into a Doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had….
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.

Kevin said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'
Kevin said, 'Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload 'em??
 

Grrrr. Knox Private Hospital. They added two floors of additional wards but no more car park. You join 10 others circling around and around looking for a parking spot, more than 20 minutes. Most of the half hour free parking wasted. 

Only on FB, which supplies most of my silly pictures, silly signs and quckies.

There is a mural on Canterbury Road, corner Springvale Road, featuring Mohammad Ali, Danny De Veto, baby Yoda and Elon Musk. I posted a photo a year or more ago. Must photograph it again. Red paint has been splashed over Musk.

Read the number plates....

Here is the tramline past Essendon, runs into the CBD. Red X's indicate tram stops.

Also, two different hemispheres.

Modern tram interior.                                           Tram exterior

I'm posting this here because I didn't want to start a new thread for it.

This afternoon I went to Vermont South Shopping Centre, which is small by most standards. Westpac closed their branch which was on the front corner of the centre. New signage and shop fittings indicate that it will open as an Asian grocery, fifty metres from an existing Asian grocery.

Spacey, take a look at the attached map of Melbourne's tram network. At least in the somewhat inner suburbs, you are more likely closer to a tram than a train station. Outer suburbs use the train and there is usually free parking available. As for the tram their stops are more or less at every traffic light, and on longer runs, between traffic lights. Many stops now have raised platforms for disabled access. If you are not close to a tram stop, there are busses which will take you to one.

Tram network map.

2 hours ago, facthunter said:

I think there's an overhead sign approaching those intersections showing how to do it..

This is the sign. The cross street is where the van is approaching the tram.

If it doesn't have supervisory or veto powers it's a miillion dollar lame duck.

There are and have been aboriginal members of parliament and forner national president of the ALP who have had an opportunity to be the voice, and are recommending a No vote. Good enough for me.

On 21/07/2023 at 8:25 AM, old man emu said:

an offence in a National Parks to collect fallen branches to make a campfire (all other precautions having been followed)

Bushfire fuel.