red750

A teacher comes into the classroom one morning, and notices some small writing on the board.

She looks closely and sees the word "PENIS".

She decides not to create a rucus, and wipes it off.

The next day, it's there again, only larger. Again she rubs it off and goes on with the class. This happens on the next two days as well.

On the fifth day, the message says, "The more you rub it, the bigger it gets."

14 hours ago, nomadpete said:

Bunch a whingers!

I guess it's all a matter of what you are used to. Like the Poms calling heatwave for anything over 30°C.

Reported on the news this morning that this is the coldest weekend in Melbourne in two decades.

16 minutes ago, Jerry_Atrick said:

 

@red750 - suggest you have a think about this sh!t before you post it (or if it is a joke, add a smiley).

Yes, Sir.

You'd think there was an iceberg in Pt Phillip Bay. Minimum of 3°C a couple of nights ago.

Dolphins vs Sharks was on Foxtel 502. Storm vs Bunnies is on now, on Gem.

You probably wouldn't have seen it on 9 even if there was no coronation. Foxtel have the contract for all matches. Money Money Money.

Like AFL in Melbourne, we get the races on Saturday and local VFL on Sunday on Ch 7, even if there are matches at both MCG and Marvel Stadium.

Reasonably wet, but definitely cold! Only 11 deg at the moment here in Melbourne (3:45pm). Freeze the pricks off a barbed wire fence.

Waiting for a charging station...

Once again, simply posting what someone sent me, without comment. Far more intellectual minds here to disect it.

To all you great thinkers.

Ponder this:

Imagine Brisbane with a hurricane coming toward the coast.

The premier orders an evacuation. All cars head South. They all need to be charged in Newcastle.

How does that work? Has anyone thought about this?

If all cars were electric, and were caught up in a three-hour traffic jam with dead batteries, then what?

Not to mention that there is virtually no heating or air conditioning in an electric vehicle because of high battery consumption.

If you get stuck on the road all night, no battery, no heating, no windshield wipers, no radio, no GPS (all these drain the batteries), all you can  do is try calling 000 to take women and children to safety.

But they cannot come to help you because all roads are blocked, and they will probably require all Emergency Vehicles and Police cars to be electric also.

Later when the roads become unblocked still no one can move! Their batteries are dead. How do you charge the backlog of cars in the traffic jam? Same problems during summer holiday departures with possible heavy traffic jams. There would be virtually no air conditioning in an electric vehicle. It would  drain the batteries too quickly.

Where is this electricity going to come from? Today's grid barely handles users' needs now. Can't use nuclear. There’s only 50 years worth of Helium left in the atmosphere and we need that. Hydrogen is still too expensive  and hard to handle, Oil and coal fired is out of the question, then where?

What will be done with billions of dead batteries, can’t bury them in the soil, can’t go to landfills. Can’t get them wet, lithium explodes into raging fires. So don’t call the Fire  Services if you have an accident. The cart is way ahead of the horse.

There has been very little thought whatsoever to handle any of the problems that batteries can cause.

The monarchy/Commonwealth is like a BRS. Not much to carry, has minimal impact on normal operations, but handy to have if required.

Answer to the quick question above   -   PAVLOVA.

PA   prika

V    egemite

LO   bster

VA   nilla

If you got the final question on The 1% Club Show on Ch 7 the other night, that question was worth $99,000.

Looks like that drone attack on the Kremlin may have been done as an excuse to start the new offensive.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/947551653079055

Well, Maurie's been dead a few years.

Here's a quick question.

2 parts Paprika

1 part  Vegemite

2 parts Lobster

2 parts Vanilla

What Aussie dessert does that make?

I have a correction to make. The BlowUp TV program is coming to Seven, not Nine. Just as bad.

Great Aussie Joke.

https://fb.watch/kj52uNZfDx/

I enjoy watching both the English and Australian versions of the Chase, and often shake my head at some of the contestants answers, but when it comes to movies, books, TV, Shakespeare, Greek mythology or some sports questions, I say "Who the hell cares." Questions like "Who was the 1982 darts champion?" It's like all the posts on Facebook, about what happened in this movie, or what was wrong with these TV shows. But you have to sort the wheat from the chaff. There is also good stuff there.

I was watching a 60 Minutes tribute to Barry Humphries tonight, and missed most of the new 1% club, which tests not what you know, but how you think. I also like Celebrity Wheel of Fortune, trying to solve the puzzle as the letters are spun up by the contestants.