red750

11 minutes ago, nomadpete said:

Are you suggesting that even gawd cannot control the woman that he/she created,

Yes, even staunch Catholic women won't buy that.

A father asked his 10 year old son little Johnny if he knew about the birds and the bees.
“I don’t want to know!” the little Johnny said, bursting into tears.
“Promise me you won’t tell me.”
Confused, the father asked what was wrong
“Oh dad,” the boy sobbed,
“when I was 6 I got the “there’s no Santa” speech.
At 7, I got the “there’s no Easter Bunny” speech.
When I was 8, you hit me with the
“there’s no tooth fairy” speech.
If you tell me that grown-ups don’t really f.ck, I’ll have nothing left to live for.
 

Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it.
He decided to ask his shrink what to do.
The shrink said, “Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnny what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests.”
Two days before Christmas, Johnny’s father asked him what he wanted for Christmas.
“I want a damn teddy-bear laying right beside me when I wake up. When I go downstairs I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside I want to see a damn bike leaning against the damn garage.”
Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a pile of dog poop.
Confused, he walked down stairs and saw another pile under the tree.
Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog poop by the garage.
When Johnny walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked,
“What did Santa bring you this year?”
Johnny replied,
“I think I got a dog, but I can’t find the son-of-a-b!tch!”
 

Is this guy two-faced?

Advertising campaigns that use the phrase "Everything is on sale." Of course it is, otherwise why do they have it in stock? They should say "Everything is discounted".

Like the doctor who died after being washed up on a desert island. No-one could read his HELP message.

Speaking of billionaires, I see Bill Gates is in Aus. Met with Albo.

I saw where university exams are going back to pen and paper because of cheating using AI. I wonder how many of them can write cursive writing.

The first "portable" phone I ever saw was owned by a man I knew who used it in his Mercedes. It was a box about the size of a motor bike battery with a handset like a house landline. He was a builder and Amway distributor.

I'm not getting a hip operation. George Pell is also described as dying from complications from a hip operation.

Another example is that no-good didgerie-doo player who almost killed a young man with his instrument after the indigenous round of football in Melbourne. Out on bail and hits a chap with a steel pipe. They used to say hand them over to the elders to administer tribal justice. Probably make him a hero.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/583881456885485

And why are they allowed to  cover their head when they are caught redhanded? Don't use the innocent till proven guilty rubbish. They were caught redhanded, people should be able to see what scumbags they are. 

It's the beams of light coming downward that you need to be concerned with.

1 hour ago, Bruce Tuncks said:

One of the things which got killed by modern phones was UFO's. People started wanting to see the pics,

https://www.facebook.com/reel/832639661371777

As for bigfoots, check out this video. Many say a man in a gorilla suit. How many people do you know who could take such large steps, and move so fast, in that kind of bushland? Also, check the ratio of arm length to leg length. 

4 minutes ago, octave said:

If someone restrained me and put elastic around my neck I might freak out a little.

If they had to resort to such measures, you would deserve it.