red750
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Posts posted by red750
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Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and is frequently humorous.
(Winston Churchill loved them).
1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
1. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.
1. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
1. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
1. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
1. Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
1. They begin the evening news with ‘Good Evening,’ then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
1. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
1. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out, I just wanted pay checks.
1. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put “DOCTOR.”
1. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
1. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street…with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
1. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
1. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
1. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
1. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
1. There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
1. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
1. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
1. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
1. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
1. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
1. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
1. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but now it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one.
P.S.: I didn't do the numbering - straight copy and paste.
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Foxtel is rerunning The Big Bang Theory for about the sixth time. They have had a lot of cameos by people playing themselves, eg. Steve Wozniak from Apple Computers, Steven Hawking, Stan Lee (comicbook writer), and I think they had Bill Gates and Elon Musk on as well.
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Banks are now making some branches "cashless". On Chnnel 9's Today, a woman claimed she could not withdraw money from her ANZ Bank account because it was a "cashless" branch. She transferred her entire balance to another bank where she was able to withdraw it. Karl Stefanovic said it was like a pub with no beer. As the topic title says, thin edge of the wedge.
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Four great mens commercials.
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A farmer was denied permission to build a shade for his horses. He didn't need s permit for a table and chairs.
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Remember the old rhyme -
Here I sit, broken hearted,
Paid my penny and only farted.
I remember an underground toilet on Elizabeth St Melbourne years ago, outside the G.P.O. Nothing for a leak, but coin in the slot to take a seat.
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3 hours ago, old man emu said:
one shouldn't need an app to have a pee.
Why not? These days you need one for just about everything else.
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I thhink Jerry types on an iPhone keyboard with his toes. Even his edited posts have typo's.
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O.M.G!
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The top Russian military leader who is believed to have known in advance about the weekend’s mutiny has been arrested — and security services have him “by the balls,” according to a local report.
The Kremlin on Thursday again refused to discuss the whereabouts of Gen. Sergei Surovikin, 56, who has not been seen since the weekend revolt by his close ally, Wagner Group leader Yevgeny Prigozhin.
However, two sources close to Russia’s Defense Ministry confirmed to the Moscow Times that the one-time military leader of the Ukraine war has been arrested, with one saying his situation is “not OK.”
“Apparently, he [Surovikin] chose Prigozhin’s side during the uprising, and they’ve gotten him by the balls,” one of the sources said.
The interrogation of the general — who remained a deputy commander of Russian forces in Ukraine — is so sensitive that defense department officials “are not even commenting on this information through our internal channels,” one of the sources told the Moscow paper.
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I was flipping channels during a commercial break, and happened on the Discovery Channel, and a show called The Explorers Club. This episode related to a 1960 dive in a submersible to the depth of 7 miles in the Challenger Deep, the deepest point of the Mariana Trench in Micronesia. Two divers took the submersible to the bottom, risking death like the crew of Titan. They heard a bang on the way down, but continued the dive. An expert said that if you hear a bang, that's good, because if you don't hear it, you are already dead.
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Can you count to 10 in German?
Nein.
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Does anyone think those mysterious creatures supposedly captured on CCTV's etc., look like Dobby from the Harry Potter movies?
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For anyone who has not seen one, this is a hard disk stack, a form of removable storage medium from 1960s computers. This one holds 200 mb of data. A 16 Gb SD card holds the equivalent of 80 of these packs.
When not installed in the disk drive, they are held in containers like this, which look like cake containers.
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Thin end of the wedge
in General Discussion
Posted
If you use Woolies self checkout, avoid the Card Only checkouts, and there is a Withdraw Cash button so you don't need to make a purchase. Used it a few times when I need cash.