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Posted

A guy goes to the doctor. He says, "Those sleeping tablets you gave me are marvellous. I haven't felt so fresh and alive in years."

 

The doctor said, "That's great. But don't take more than one a day."

 

"Oh, I don't take them. I give them to my wife."

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Posted

A man wakes up in the hospital, wrapped head to toe in bandages. The doctor walks in and says, “Mr. Jenkins, you’re lucky to be alive. You’ve been through a horrific accident… but you’re going to make a full recovery.”

The doctor hesitates. “That said… there’s no easy way to tell you this. We couldn’t save your penis.”

Mr. Jenkins’s eyes widen in horror. The doctor quickly adds, “But! I’m a specialist in penile reconstruction. I can build you a brand-new one—fully functional, maybe even better than the original. Custom size, top shelf. The only catch? It’s $1,000 per inch.”

Jenkins, still rattled, says, “Well, I’ve got $9,000 saved up. So… I could go all in for nine inches?”

The doctor nods. “You could—but I suggest discussing it with your wife first. I mean, nine inches is… ambitious. She might have opinions. No point investing in something she’s afraid to ride.”

Jenkins agrees and says he’ll talk to her.

The next day, the doctor returns. “So, what did the wife say?”

Mr. Jenkins sighs. “She said she wants a new kitchen.”

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