Jump to content

The Almighty rewards the Righteous

old man emu

Recommended Posts

The Almighty who sees all looked out upon the land of the Castlereighs and saw that the Son of Adam had been toiling on the soil. The Almighty looked closely at what the Son of Adam had done and was well pleased.


Said the Almighty, "I saw the Son of Adam toiling until the Helios's chariot disappeared from sight last evening, and when he began again as Eos rose next morning from her home at the edge of the river Oceanus to deliver light and disperse the night. Now I see what the Son of Adam has been toiling at. He has been preparing a grassy place upon which I might rest. He must be rewarded."


The Almighty, being the CEO of The Heavens and the Earth Unlimited was keen on delegation. He called for Priapus, who was V-P Gardens.


 " I'm in a meeting right now", replied Priapus,   In Greek mythology, Priapus was a minor rustic fertility god, protector of  livestock, fruit plants, gardens and male genitalia. Priapus is marked by  his oversized, permanent erection, which gave rise to the  "I'll just quickly finish it and be with you in five."


When Priapus arrived, the Almighty said, " That Son of Adam has been toiling hard to make a grassy garden for me. I want you to organise some sort of reward for him." 

"You'll run into a demarcation dispute if I handle that. Grass is an agricultural product and Demeter is V-P of Agriculture. You run the risk of that whole department walking out, and they'll head straight to the Discrimination Board. I'd love to help, but I'm not going to be part of a shit fight with a female V-P."


So the Almighty gave Demeter a call. He explained what he wanted and asked for Demeter's advice. 

Demeter: Greek Goddess of Agriculture, Fertility, Sacred Law and the  Harvest | AND The Abduction of Persephone " Where is the Son of Adam up to with this grass?", asked Demeter.


"Well," replied the Almighty, Yesterday he was digging up a patch of ground and ripping out a lot  of plants." 

"That's called weeding and seedbed preparation. Technical stuff, you know," interjected Demeter.

"Whatever. This morning he put pieces of grass in holes where he had been making, what did you call it? The seedbed, was it?" continued the Almighty.

"Yeah. Sounds like he's trying to establish the grass by planting what we call 'plugs'. He's a smart cookie, this Son of Adam," said Demeter admiringly.

"I thought that since he was doing something nice for Me, I'd like to ensure his success. What do you reckon?" asked the Almighty.

"Strewth! You are supposed to be all-knowing. Why ask me?", retorted Demeter.

"Because I'm the CEO and I just have to see that things get done. That's why I employ people like you. If you don't want Agriculture, you can transfer to Hearth and Home with Hestia, and I'll promote Priapus to Agriculture," snapped the Almighty.

"That big prick? He couldn't raise enough grain to make a sandwich," cried Demeter. "Leave it with me. I think the best thing right now is some rain. I'll talk to Jupiter over in Weather."


Demeter returned to her office and sent Hermes image.jpeg.656003e3bcb938a659d0d875a5b1435e.jpeg to get Jupiter to come over. (Hermes was a bit, you know ...)


"What do you want? I'm right in the middle of creating a draught," said Jupiter over his shoulder to Hermes.

" Ducky, Demeter wants you to help her finish something the Almighty wants done. Apparently its a working together thingy that the Almighty picked up from a Management Seminar he went to."


So Jupiter lobbed in to Demeter's office, a hot wind blowing from his ears.

"Don't get snotty with me," said Demeter. " His Nibs wants to reward some Son of Adam for 'his good works'. I've had a look at the situation and the best reward right now is some rain. Can you deliver?"

"Typical. His Almightyness gets an idea and it's 'drop what you are doing now and do my rush job'. Well, enjoy the weather today, because I won't have time to make the changes for tomorrow."


Jupiter went back to his workshop and gathered up a bit of water vapour from the atmosphere storeroom and packed it into some clouds. image.thumb.jpeg.bb714a43fd67a73671836c00a2146779.jpeg


Then he called Notos from Summer Storm Couriers.

"Mate. I've got an urgent delivery. Can you handle it?"


image.jpeg.879c16500c6644e9561902f351dd8887.jpeg replied," You've missed the morning deliveries, but for you, old mate, I'll do it myself. It's be nice to get out of the office for a while," 


So Notos picked up the load of clouds from Jupiter's workshop and headed over to the Son of Adam's place with the load of clouds. image.thumb.jpeg.71412d9ee8f5c7b0fce8af1c28379685.jpeg and dropped them off.


And the Son of Adam looked out at where he had been toiling and saw the falling rain.




And the Son of Adam said to himself, "FIGJAM! I read that sky perfectly yesterday arvo."





  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, nomadpete said:

You could have just posted .........


"Hey everyone, my new laid turfs are growing!"


But that would have been a serious lexical error because the plural of "turf" is "turves".


I could not have been brief because the story involved a lot of characters, most of whom the majority of people don't know. Besides, I had to come inside because of the rain, and was feeling a bit sore from planting tufts of turf. I thought that you blokes might enjoy a bit of humour.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, old man emu said:

I could not have been brief because the story involved a lot of characters, most of whom the majority of people don't know. Besides, I had to come inside because of the rain, and was feeling a bit sore from planting tufts of turf. I thought that you blokes might enjoy a bit of humour.

I thought it was very imaginative and conveyed an air of  profound contentment with the state of the universe in your  backyard.

  • Like 1
  • Agree 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

DSpeaking of fictional/mythicalcreatures, OME mentioned Hermes and that sent me down the rabbit hole of 'relevance?'


Wicki says....


"Hermes is regarded as "the divine trickster,"




"God of boundaries, roads and travelers, thieves, athletes, shepherds, commerce, speed, cunning, wit, magic and sleep"


(Would you buy a used car from this guy?)


But most curiously.....


"his main symbol is the caduceus, a winged staff intertwined with two snakes copulating"


Is that the same symbol that doctors proudly display, even as a badge on the grille of their car? What are the doctors trying to tell us with it?

  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hermes was that sort of bloke you hear about in the suburbs. The Old man is off at work and the Missus is bored stiff at home. Hermes is getting around the suburbs doing his messenger thing, knocks on the door to deliver a message and he delivers more than the message. He had it off with at least thirty female gods, producing thirty offspring. Talk about the postman only ringing twice.


Doctors display the Rod of Asclepius, which has only one snake.


  • Like 1
  • Informative 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aaah. But it seems that in the great US of A, over 60% of medical practicioners use the entwined serpents of Hermes (caduceus) as their motiff. Perhaps they are unwittingly acknowledging Hermes' as god of speedy commerce (one of his many hats)?


And less than 40% use The Rod of Aclepius which symbolised health and medicine (where I hark from, one snake is better for your health than two)



Edited by nomadpete
no reason
  • Like 1
  • Informative 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...