red750

A Poem - by Willie Nelson My nookie days are over, My pilot light is out. What used to be my pride and joy, Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord, From my trousers it would spring. But now I've got a full time job, To find the friggin thing. It used to be embarrassing, The way it would behave. For every single morning, It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches, It sure gives me the blues. To see it hang its little head, And watch me tie my shoes!!

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.' Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, 'And you are no good in bed either,' and storms out of the house. After some time he realises he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, 'What took you so long to answer to the phone?' She says, 'I was in bed.' 'In bed this early, doing what?' 'Getting a second opinion!'

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!' 'Yeah?' she replies. 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!'

Speaking of phones, Samsung have just released the S24 range, three phones with AI which does such things as language translation in real time. Features available on all 3 models, but they are not cheap. Samsung Galaxy S24

You may have seen this one before.

I posted previously, a bit tongue in cheek, that my laptop has a problem of dropping characters when I hit the Submit Reply button. More a problem of me trying to touch type, not watching what I am doing. Another problem I have is that when I type the letter 'n', I often get 'nn'. It already happened in this post. I do try to proofread my posts, but the mind plays tricks and you see what you thought you just typed. Often, it's not until you've pressed the button and come back a bit later, that you notice the error. Then I edit the post to correct it.

I have nothing against electric vehicles and if I won Ozlotto, I would think about buying one. My daughter definitely wants one. As I only drive on average 50 kms a fortnnight, it doesn't really matter. But as things stand now, unless there was one for less than $5,000, it's out of the question. I will not borrow to buy anything, and as a pensioner, getting even a small loan is virtually out of the question. Mention the word pension, and they all say "Sorry." I only needed to borrow $2,000 to buy my Festiva less than 12 months ago, I had the rest, and I had to borrow from my daughter as I got rejected for every loan I applied for. I have paid her back long ago. Now, if I can't pay cash, I go without. My credit rating is actually going down as I don't have a loan portfolio. I have a credit card with a very small limit, and it is in credit a couple of dollars. I've had it for more than 15 years, and keep it basically to use at parking pay stations which only accept credit cards. If I cancel it, they would not issue another.

Typo, should be "run". Looks like you had the same problem in your last post.

Just reporting tonight's news. Seeing you have fully investigated and researched every subject we discuss, and have certified proof, why don't you ru the news services.

Tesla have ceased delivering Telsa 3 models immediately as they fail the safety regulations. They don't have child seat anchor points.

Channel 7 report onn CarExpert.com comparison run of two BMWs, the EV version and the pertol model. >EV vs petrol - Melbourne to Sydney.

Trump isn't on Nevada ballot but not for the reason you may think. See slideshow here.

No surprise the the buffoon won the Iowa caucuses.

See his latest instruction to his brainless followers in freezing Iowa (-30F) - "Get out and vote, even if you're as sick as a dog. Pass away afterwards."

Not only are cars not produced in Australia any more, neither are car commercials. Why do so many feature left hand drive vehicles?

"This is my son, Fairfield." "That's an unusual name." "That's where he was concieved. This is my daughter, Backseat."

It's illegal in some countries for women to get an education. It goes against their religion. https://www.elitedaily.com/women/separate-unequal-countries-worst-gender-inequality-education

Smith climbed to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asked the Lord.. "God, what does a million years mean to you?" The Lord replied, "A minute." Smith asked, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?" The Lord replied, "A penny." Smith asked, "Can I have a penny?" The Lord replied, "In a minute."

The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they have passed.