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Technological Humour ?


Phil Perry
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I'm in the southernmost Caravan park in Australia right now. The neighbouring folk compared their toilet systems..... People love bragging about how much they spend on their rigs.

 

Grey water holding tank, black water holding tank, sludge pump, macerator, solar power to run stuff.....

 

Not to be outdone (and feeling a little left out of the conversation) I told them I use a process of environmentally friendly, natural biological decomposition treatment combined with intense ultra violet radiation to sanitise my waste. (Even bears sh it in the woods).

 

 

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And where do you propose we install this Green device in our wonderful new suburbs?

 

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This is a crime against common sense. Backyards have shrunk to nothing. Where can kids play?

 

About time to ditch our national obsession with individual houses.

 

People in other countries live quite happily in low- rise blocks of flats or townhouses with shared facilities like playgrounds, parks, etc. Several generation are normally very close and support each other with childminding, meals, etc.

 

Meanwhile Oz spends up large on special facilities to keep our aged and our little kids far apart. Clever.

 

 

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About time to ditch our national obsession with individual houses. .

So, we ditch a characteristic of Australian life that brought so many Europeans here post-war so that we can conform to the way the teeming masses of Asia clump together?

 

Think about why we went from this 19th Century close settlement like this:

 

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Form space like this:

 

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Building houses on postage stamp-sized blocks does, in fact, greatly increase population density, but it also increases vehicle density, the length of the peak hour, reduced response times for ambulances and fire engines, changes in micro-climate (or even regional climate). It increases air and noise pollution as well as domestic and public violence.

 

In NSW, the government would do well to cease being Sydney-centric and look to use modern communication technologies to promote development outside the Sydney Basin. There's no use trying to develop manufacturing anywhere as we have sold our souls to the Chinese dragon. The best we can do is to develop our service skills. You want fries with that?

 

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Shortly after Wifey and I fronted up off the convict ship at Port Melbourne, it soon became apparent that Australians had sightly different names for certain items.

 

A pint of Lager and a packet of Cheese and Onion Crisps, became 'A Schooner of beer and a bag of Chips.

 

Choc Ice = Eskimo Pie. . .

 

Wafer = Kreem Between

 

Bottle of Pop = Mineral

 

Pommie = Barstard. . .

 

Soooo confusing to Newbies. . .

 

 

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I suppose that back then you and your wife were in the blossom of love. Did you ever get strange looks at the stationers when you asked for a roll of Durex?

No, but I got a got of laarfs from co-workers when I asked what the hell a 'BRIQUETTE' was. . . .

 

Durex ? ? = CELLOTAPE.

 

 

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So, we ditch a characteristic of Australian life that brought so many Europeans here post-war so that we can conform to the way the teeming masses of Asia clump together...

Why persist with individual houses if they don't have backyards? Low-rise townhouses or flats could accomodate the same housing density and leave room for ample shared facilities. It could help overcome the chronic isolation of our suburbs, with the associated social breakdown, loneliness, mental health issues, lack of aged care, childcare...

 

 

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But OK, that would require town planning to be done in the best interests of the people. Since town planning is generally 'subsidised' by developers (and an interest in maximising income from rates), it is unlikely that councils will put much effort into the social values such as quality of life. There are some very successful examples of medium density housing that discourages the urban isolation that we see in Australia. Unfortunately our governments respond best to business models rather than supporting societal needs at any level (including the most basic level that housing represents)

 

 

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Why persist with individual houses if they don't have backyards? Low-rise townhouses or flats could accommodate the same housing density and leave room for ample shared facilities. It could help overcome the chronic isolation of our suburbs, with the associated social breakdown, loneliness, mental health issues, lack of aged care, childcare...

No Backyards: No play space for kids.

 

Shared facilities: Barren wastes occasionally populated with unimaginative play structures. Shade less, water less expanses where activities that require open space are banned by Local Government By-Laws.

 

Chronic isolation: Located at distances from places of work so that residents have to spend hours travelling to and from, returning home too exhausted to socialise.

 

Social breakdown: Suburbs erupt from farmlands like mushrooms after Spring rain. Fill the ticky-tacky boxes with strangers of mixed cultural backgrounds. No community history.

 

You have to live in these areas of our major cities to develop the yearning for a house on a quarter acre.

 

 

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Nomadpete

 

"The not equal sign (≠) is used to denote items where they don't equal to each other, for example 1 ≠ 2. One way to enter the not equal to symbol in Word is to type 2260 followed by alt x. Alternatively the symbol can be found by going to the insert tab and symbols under the subset mathematical operations.Dec 4, 2017"

 

Just googled it.

 

spacesailor

 

 

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Uncle Google knows EVERYTHING!

 

Unfortunately that includes a lot of bias and BS from uninformed self appointed 'experts'

 

I just wish Uncle Google had a BS filter to save me the effort of cross checking everything he tells me...

 

Which makes it a lot like asking a family member!

 

 

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No. DUREX as in[ATTACH=full]3929[/ATTACH]

Yeah we heard about THAT product description from a Neighbour who emigrated ( To Melbourne ) 3 years before we did.

 

Shame I lost touch after staying with his family on Vermont for a couple weeks while I got a job and a shack in Boronia. . nice big quarter acre block too . . .

 

Learning to speak and partially understand 'OZ talk' was an interesting progression.. .and we rarely went out in the evening forgetting the Aerogard . . .we got used to smelling like paraffin heaters ( Ooops. . Kerosene ) afterwards,. . it was kinda cute . . .

 

 

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Two tricks Aussies have foisted on Poms:1. That Fosters is real beer.

 

2. That Aerogard repels flying insects.

 

In reality the opposite is true for both.

YES you Buggers !

 

I never liked Fosters, preferring other Carlton & United Breweries products like Melbourne Bitter and VB. . .not a bad glug those two. . ,I found that Courage had a reasonable taste, but can't recall which one. . . bet I never told you about the time I got snakebit at a BBQ did I. . .Oh wot a larf. . . I thought I'd walked back into a twig at the edge of Bruce's lawn, but it all went blue and numb after I got back home. . my ankle and left foot didn't look well at all. Neighbour drove me to the Hospital, where, after waiting for a short while a very nice Doctor asked me If I'd got the snake. . . . Told me he couldn't give me any antivenom unless he was sure what animal it was 'Sorry'

 

Next time I see you post,. . I'll tell you if I survived this 1971 encounter with your bloody dangerous sodding suburban wildlife. . ..

 

 

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