Quickies part 2

[red750]

What is the difference between a politician and a hooker?

 

A hooker stops screwing you when the money runs out.

[nomadpete]

An American strikes up a conversation with a Russian tourist.... .

 

A: "What brings you here?"

 

R: "I come to America to study propaganda!"

 

A: "What propaganda?"

 

R: "Exactly!"

[red750]

J. D. Vance has the charisma of a parking meter.

[nomadpete]

Two guys at the bar. One says: "you won't believe me, but I can bite my right eye. One beer if you loose the bet? "

They shake hands or whatever you do in that part of the world to seal a bet and then our guy takes out his right (glass) eye and bites in it.

One beer later our guy says "you won't believe me,I but I can bite in my left eye as well."

They confirm the bet. Our guy takes out his dentures and bites in his left eye.

One beer later our guy says "you won't believe me , but I can piss in your right trouser pocket and you don't get wet".

Well, the bet is confirmed, our guy takes out his noodle and pisses in the right pocket of his betting partners trousers.

"Fuck, my trousers are all wet!"

(giggling) "Sorry, sometimes I lose a bet...."

[facthunter]

Happens at the football too I believe. I reckon you are Pulling our legs. Pissing in someone's pocket is Considered to Be Flattering them. Nev

[red750]

In DEBT, the B is silent.

 

In KNIFE, the K is silent.

 

In MARRIAGE, the HUSBAND is silent.

[pmccarthy]

In a swimming pool, the P is silent.

Edited 20 hours ago by pmccarthy

[red750]

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1026973353294650

[red750]

I tried eating snails once, but they made me sluggish.

[facthunter]

Like a Nissan S cargo? Nev

[red750]

Little Johnny was playing in the schoolyard when he got a splinter in his hand. He went to the teacher and said, " Miss, I need some cider."

 

The teacher said, "Why do yo need cider?"

 

Johnny said, "I got a splinter in my hand."

 

The teacher said, "What's that got to do with cider?
 

Little Johnny said, "I heard Mum say when she gets a prick in her hand she puts it in cider."

[Marty_d]

Probably "Dickens" brand. Popular cider among women, apparently.