Quickies part 2

[red750]

My friends call me The Computer.

 

Nothing to do with my intelligence. I go to sleep if unattended for 15 minutes.

[red750]

Designed summer footwear for people with one leg. It was a Flop.

[red750]

[red750]

[facthunter]

"Afterbirth" doesn't have eyes.. Nev

[red750]

What's the worst part about being a vegan?

 

Getting up in the morning to milk the almonds.

[red750]

If you do nothing all day, you're a bum.

 

But if you do it in a boat, you're a fisherman.

[red750]

One minute you’re young and fun. And next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better. 

 

Think you’re old and you will be old. Think you are young, and you will be delusional. 

 

There’s nothing scarier than that split second when you lose your balance in the shower and you think, “They are going to find me naked.

[facthunter]

You were BORN NAKED.  When you get old there will be many times you have nothing on. Nev

[pmccarthy]

I am at a reunion this week. Main topic is the number of colleagues from 50 years ago who are no longer with us. It has shocked me.

[facthunter]

Not a FUN topic. Neither is a look through my old Phone list . Nev

[red750]

[red750]

Two cops and a dog were out the front of a pub.

 

One of the patrons comes out, lifts the dog's tail, shakes his head and walks off.

 

Another patron comes out and does the same.

 

A third patron comes out and lifts the dogs tail. The cops are curious, and ask the man "Why is everyone lifting the dogs tail?"

 

The man said "There's a guy in there who said there's a dog with two arseholes out the front."

[red750]