Quickies part 2

[nomadpete]

My wife once told me,

"Sex is more fun on holidays".

 

It wasn't the best postcard I've ever received

[nomadpete]

As I was creeping into bed, she asked, "You are drunk again, aren't you!".

 

"What makes you think that?", I asked defensively.

 

"You live nest door." 

 

[facthunter]

Where is NEST door?   Nev

[Jerry_Atrick]

Slurred words

[facthunter]

How come she recognised you in the dark? Pete.  Nev

[nomadpete]

3 hours ago, facthunter said:

Where is NEST door?   Nev

That's Wolfie dialect.

Thought you'd figure it out.

1 hour ago, facthunter said:

How come she recognised you in the dark? Pete.  Nev

Well she did say Drunk AGAIN, didn't she.

[facthunter]

Yeah. I reckon you have been SPRUNG.    Nev

[nomadpete]

You'll never never know if you never never go.......

[facthunter]

There's a Saying for everything.. . Nev

[nomadpete]

1 hour ago, facthunter said:

There's a Saying for everything.. . Nev

There's just two things I hate....

 

1. The way things are

 

2. Change

[facthunter]

Add (as we speak).  I LOVE a CHANGE for the Better and Modern Cars are much better, than the dangerous and expensive rubbish we drove, made just pre and post WW2. I'm not a subscriber to the "They don't make them like they used to" Lament. . I'm GLAD they don't. Nev

[nomadpete]

Can't work my wife out. First she says "Sure! Get yourself a tattoo."

 

Now she's whining about the bagpipers in the garden.

[facthunter]

The ILL Wind that nobody Blows any good.  Nev

[red750]

[red750]

My friend Tony told me not to say his name backwards.

 

I said, "Y not?"

[red750]

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?

 

Five. One to mix the dough, four to peel the Smarties.

[red750]

Some guys formed a band they called 999 megabytes. Still haven't got a gig.

[red750]

I asked my daughter what she thought of my hearing.

 

She said, "You're an eight on a scale of ten."

 

Why would I want to urinate on a skeleton?

[Marty_d]

She was obviously taking the piss.

[facthunter]

You should be nice to Skeletons. After all, they have No body. Nev

[Jerry_Atrick]

 

🙃

Edited 8 hours ago by Jerry_Atrick