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willedoo
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That's not bad - but I'll tell you a true story, that I got first hand from a bloke who is a good mate, and who used to work for me in the late 1970's and early 1980's.

 

Wayne is a pretty typical Aussie - good natured, likes a beer, likes a BBQ, likes waterskiing, likes camping, is loud and a little intolerant, and can be a barrel of laughs.

 

He left my employ to go touring and working around Australia about 1982. He was about 24 then. He ended up working for a farmer at Moree, which he enjoyed doing for a couple of years.

 

While he was there, he and his employers family and a couple of his local friends, used to go to a Park area near Moree -which was along the Gwydir River from memory - for the odd BBQ.

 

One Sunday they all rolled up, only to find a group of Indians occupying some of the BBQ's and facilities a little further along. Wayne was at his intolerant best this day, and started "taking the piss" out of the Indians - from a distance.

 

Wayne's a pretty good character actor, and he was soon in full flight, loudly speaking with a thick Indian accent - "Oh my jolly goodness, we are being invaded by Indians!" - along with various other phrases and acting, all designed to take the piss.

 

While he was doing all this performance, the Indians were directing black looks towards him, but saying nothing. Waynes performance went on for about 10 mins, he was having a wonderful time.

 

Then they went to light up the BBQ - and in the best fashion - no-one had thought to bring any matches!! They searched high and low - but nope, not a match or a lighter to be found.

 

Of course, the Indians picked up on this, they couldn't help but overhear the conversation about, "no bloody matches! - no-one thought to bring any matches??".

 

Then came the horrible realisation - they would have to go ask the Indians for some matches. Wayne volunteered, he was never afraid to venture into lions dens.

 

So he went up to the Indians, and said, "G'day mate, you wouldn't be able to lend us some matches, would you".

 

The Indian bloke he addressed, looked at him for a few seconds, then said (in a heavy Indian accent) - "You silly White Boy! You forgot your matches??" - and grinned a wide grin.

 

Wayne burst out laughing, and his slightly racist attitude was broken completely. Now here comes the really funny part.

 

The Indian bloke was only putting on the thick Indian accent! His English was impeccable! The Indians were all doctors, surgeons, and health professionals!!

 

Wayne told the story with relish and belly laughed with all of us, as we all cracked up. After that, anytime he did something a bit silly, we'd all start on with, "You silly White Boy!! You've done what?", which always cracked everyone up.

 

 

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I was having a coffee in a city coffee shop one night when an a person asked if they could sit at the same table. I looked up and immediately figured that the person was a male transvestite. I've got nothing against trannies, so I invited him to sit. I'll talk to anybody, so struck up a conversation with him. He seemed glad to have someone to talk to, but soon was pouring out his soul to me. 

 

"No one really understands," he said. "They should walk a mile in my shoes."

 

"I will," I replied.

 

Well, I'd only gone about 50 metres down the road when the bloody heel on the stilettos broke. I twisted my ankle and fractures my wrist when I fell.

 

 

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