Litespeed

After one night rolling in the waves, far too much vitamin beer, a hangover and salty skin, I am happy as a pig in mud.

Chapter One. There comes a time in a mans life when the calling of their true self can no longer be ignored, years are but a interval for respite. The smell of the salt, oaken and tar, the seductive call of the siren has captured me. So I go to sea once more Neptune will determine my fate. In the morrow, I shall be neither marooned nor landsmen. Its not a regular commission as they are always anything but. At this stage- I would take any old hulk or scowl, as long as she has a pump to keep the powder dry. A scrap of paper appeared under my door, with just some co-ordinates, a name and time. It had been years, but the Sirens always know, my wounds were healed and vigor had returned. I had no expectations except it would float, and failure would not be countenanced. With no time to loose, I called for a four horse coach to speed my arrival. My trunk was ready as always- should the need occur, timepieces,charts and all. Sadly my cutlass and pistols were a shambles, I will tend them on the trot. It is, whilst a welcome serendipity that the sirens have at last answered my call, I feel trepidation for the urgency. The note indicated none. but the howl of the tempest surely does. To venture forth in such a cauldron makes mockery of calm machinations in archaic mens clubs. Now was a time of action and the devil may pay the butchers bill. The coachmen spared none on the trip and dropped me at the edge of the village. I arrived quite wet and looking bedraggled, not that anyone could make me out in the storm. To any cove I just looked like a rummy stumbling aboard- just the way it should be. Another Salty fierce at sea but easily fleeced of his booty, be it rum, song or woman- deflated he returns with a full belly and a empty sack. I find my cabin, light the lamp and searched for the orders, my concerns were justified and time was a luxury I had nought to spare. At first light we must away to catch the tide and favourable wind, any delay would put us lee on the rocks, I have not a moment to loose and good weather is days too late. The sea in the Port of Stephen, our anchorage is 6 foot swells and gusting to rip off their tops, outside its the full force of a angry sea. A combination of a Easterly and a big cyclone heading south east, the tail been felt now, was not to be a pleasure cruise. I pondered over a drink the species of this strange ship- neither beast nor fowl, but called a trawler. I knew it might be a small design and made to look inconspicuous but I had my doubts, sure it had a ketch rig but also a contraption that sounded like bedlam playing with hammers. I had heard rumours of such a wonder and had seen a locomotive engine in a ship, but never a beast of burden that drank a strange oil brew and so small. I had seen plenty of oil in my time Sperm, Blue, Wright and the others but never this cousin of tar. Having kept up my sources, I deduced it must be that clever German fellow I met at the Royal Society. We spent a whole evening talking the latest in philosophical knowledge and how it pertains to cannon and rifle. He seemed very interested in the explosion of the charge and the different loads I might use ball, grenade or chain given for type of target. He at first looked astonished, then roared in laughter when I explained if things got real rough we "throw the silverware at em", we both saw the Irony of it. A deck of deadly swords and cannon crews cut down by crews mess kits- if only the poor souls did not mock us running short of shot. We had another Wine and Rudolf said "If only I could harness this cannon power into a engine". We pondered some more on the merits of such a contraption and saw the need to move like a steam engine, but small and without a huge command for fuel or explosive like my cannon. Initially It seemed like a impossible problem to be practically solved, but as the hours and wine flowed we seemed to have formulated a plan to test such a hypothesis in the best scientific manner. Naturally that is far from success but it least a plan, and given the hangover, a damn good evening. I left him to it and wished him well, Rudolf grabbed my hand and said " I will see you again, when its real". I had thought little of it since, just another Royal Society meeting, too many drinks and too many ideas to capture and make full . The beast below us was testament he had indeed made a groggy idea into a contraption that could power a small ship as good as sail but better. Into a strong sea with a storm sail and power through on its 3 foot screw. Rudy had not only made a engine small but very powerful and made "Walrus" 35ft and 15 ton cruise at 8 Knots and 5 litres of this strange Rudy brew. She was a special and heavily built for her size, a deep stable sailing hull but a screw out back. Rudy reckons 1500 nautical miles between tanks without a sail seen. I will stick with sails and try them both as suits and this contraption better prove its worth. I am grateful though and sure it will come in handy to leave come dawn. The sea is angry and not to be trifled with, Rudy had better be right or we are going nowhere but the bottom. To anyone about at first light, they will assume some mad bastards too drunk on rum and off to chase a better anchorage. As arranged at 5 before first light, a red light beacon spoke the code and Rudy appeared, from the abyss in a strange dinghy. a little thing and made not of wood but some grey sausage like thing. It was filled with air and had a small box engine on the back. I was taken aback by the scene but should have expected no less from Rudy. He explained with great detail how he tried various methods to create his little boat. After much research, Rudy decided the best was a bladder made from Dorks and how the Sperm Whale penis is a exceptional candidate for such a engineering task. I winced at the thought and felt the dread of progress. Over a drink he explained the dorks were discards and a waste not to use, he could see my discomfort. I was however impressed that a boat could be packed into a suitcase and combined with that electric motor he has devised could be vary handy. Needs must and as we are going on the hush, it could be good for dark work. Better to complete a raid and not have to fight it out, numbers are not on our side. Including Rudy our first mate, engineer and boat designer, it was just me and a mongrel black cat. The mystery of its parentage and how it decided Walrus was a suitable home are lost in time and his qualifications for the voyage were yet to be determined. But he had a certain something about him, firstly he had swum 150 feet out to the boat, then just swaggered into the saloon and made it his. When he jumped onto the table and quietly sprang his claws to demonstrate his prowess and determination to get his fare share, we laughed and he had his fill of tuna. He passed the first test and we hoped he would see it through. Were we go no man or beast gets a holiday cruise, we must use every skill and cunning we possess. A stranger crew and ship that ever sailed the seas I could not imagine and I hope the enemy do not either, such a clandestine contraption and speed against the wind. Rudy assures me Walrus also has big teeth as well, we are sure to need them. Ships Log: Sea 7 foot swell, anchored off Port of Stephen Wind S 35 knt 05:20 prepare for sail at 05.30

My doc has the usual mags but also some car,bike and boat stuff. And national geographic. Helps stop me running out and a certain help with mental health. But agree they are generally very sexist in their offerings.

Scangriffin, I feel for you mate, A whole generation at least has suffered this abuse and the government seems happy to push away any responsibility nor ensure the churches etc pay. The Royal commission was hobbled and the LNP made damn sure the compo was minimal and damaging to even apply for. Parliament is still full of their enablers- just look at Scomo- his spiritual advisor heads a church that covered up abuse and no case had been charged even though plenty of evidence exists.

Given what is happening on Parliament at present- we need to rethink this.. The current government have clearly no respect for the people, the law or any transparency. They do respect their mates, as long as they get a big favour- the money can flow. Over half a billion in rorts in the election year and much more hidden. AFP have shown themselves completely captive to the LNP- did not even look into Taylor affair of fraud documents to influence a government (Sydney Council). Just said its a waste of time. Corrupting the entire gov process is a waste of time to investigate- says it all really. ScoMo refuses to answer any questions, makes sure documents are never released or redacted. We are not a democracy at all. Much more important than getting a president. We are now part of the rogue 3. USA, UK and Australia. Rule of law is for others, rule of greed is the new normal.

It all depends on the state in the US, some actively suppress groups from voting even without a record. Tends to be states often referred to as Red States. The whole idea of not been able to vote with a record is wrong and double punishment. And is often used by those in power to crush dissent and make likely candidates ineligible. A very slippery slope.

I volunteer to give her a mental and physical health checkup. I wonder what tattooed pinkbits taste like?

I often find the simplest reason is stupidity. Must be why you see so many with their children's name stamped on. Can't remember their kids but the skin does. I can understand proper body art but the majority just have crap. So I just translate to effwitt.

I expect they feel you should be grateful. Gone are the days of been valued for anything but making the bottom line fat.

The $1000 just made the govt look stingy and only cares about money not citizens. Which appears true. It created a lot of stress for the evacuees and made us look churlish. So much the advice was changed to cover their ass. The rest of the world acted quickly is NZ and we argued and squandered days before getting a plane in the air. Just like the fire response. If they absolutely had too they could have billed later. As per usual grab defeat from a potential victory.

Play their own game to beat them. When you answer get the human on line................. Then,,,,,, "This The Australian Federal Police, you have been logged as part of a criminal conspiracy. We have your address, even though you routed the call. we have your unique Voice print which can and will be used in court. We have tracked you in numerous calls as part of this conspiracy. You will be shortly be seen by your local Authorities. You are suspected of providing funding for Terrorism. please prepare to defend any charges." It is fun to play with their minds.

Trump is not a presidents turd smear. He is a populist dictator who pretends its a democracy. The Republican s have made him immune to the law. He is the most dangerous man in the world today.

Arndt is a fraud of the worst type and should be jailed. For years she has purported to be a Dr and is a fraud. Strip her award and jail her. Folou is a f wit. No one is stopping him but he must follow the rules like any employee.

so that's what Tony Abbott does in his spare time.

The problem with installing the wenches, is they need to be held down with my nuts. Which can be problematic- I need them to keep my main mast up. I already have a bit of a limp on somedays, the eyesight could be better. A big bird on the shoulder sounds good, except his chat lines are better then mine. And the swarmy bugger does not share. Beatings with the cat against the grate will continue, until morale improves.

I will keep that in mind Spacey. First I must get the bucks then boat. The trawler is cool, nice professional conversion to cabin cruiser. 35 ft 15 tonnes of timber. Minus the rot, which is only some simple stuff. Good solid cruiser.. 8 knots and 5 Lt hour. My twin ( doppelganger) is going to use it as live aboard. Most importantly the eutectic holds 2 cases with ease.

I admit to loving my country, as many would know. But.....most of our beer is over priced sewage. Its $50 plus for cats piss VB, which gives me gout after one vomitful beer. Tooheys , same crappy dish water. xxxx, cane toad piss. Or I can get a case of made in Germany, pure no crap beer for $36 case. Proper actual beer. Or go deluxe and $52 for case of 500 ml German beer. How can they make it, export it and still be cheaper than vomit? We get ripped off on local beer.

No defence. As long as they receive the files in good faith. So they can accept any file from any source. Just they can't ask you to steal it. This has been through the high court recently with the Panama papers.

A sailing life is a life well lived

One with big holds for loot. A big cabin for wenches. A heart of Oak or other Hardwood. Hopefully a Gardener engine. A true "G" spot. A lots of sails on the sunset. A rope for keel hauling malcontents. And a bloody Jolly Roger.......the sea spray can wash the blood soaked decks. Trim will be the ships cat. Preferably a Ketch rig. More traditional the better. Most likely a ferro hull for ultimate toughness. Off to Port Stephens today to board " Walrus" my brothers new boat. 34 foot heavy timber trawler.

And the other more vengeful ad.

Exhibit B The amazing stabilisation of a Chicken. And tasty.

It was great. So was Ash with the Baby niece. No body takes defeat as well as Ash. It is never about "I" but "we" as a team and complementing her opponent. Grace and poise are just part of her DNA. So is a wicked and smart sense of humour. She did a presser after winning a Title and quoted her favourite Disney characters to make a excellent funny speech. No surprise Disney picked her as a sponsor big time. Meanwhile Dlyan Allcott did what he does and prove he is the greatest tennis player on wheels, the world has ever seen. Six times Australian Open Champion and he was completely dominant with a friendly huge smile. Inspirational

I rarely watch tv, much prefer something useful like boat or aircraft building videos. Helps prepare for the Pirate life.

Stirling would be great to have a beer with. I guess he was over for the Trans tasman series, all the F1 boys would come and race and party in OZ and NZ each year. They reckon it was the best time of the calendar, less pressure, great weather and hot women.