Long Lost Family

[red750]

Many of the adopted children have gaps in their history as they grow older. Did they love me? Why was I given away? Was I not wanted? What happened to my birth parents? Were they married? Was I the result of a one-night stand? Are they still alive? Did I have any siblings or half-siblings?

It's very hard for someone to discover that their parents were married and they had older and younger siblings. Why would parents give away a middle child?

The reasons for giving up a child are many. The mother may only have been 15 or  16 and too young to care for a child. Casual relationships that broke up, with no support for the child. Strict parents not wanting the shame. Religious attitudes to unmarried mothers. Mixed races or religions (Catholic and Protestant in Ireland). Relationships with foreign servicemen reposted to their home country. Even for married couples, if the father is out of work or in prison. And the list goes on.

 

Another consideration is genetic disorders passed from generation to generation.  There was a couple who had to surrender their child because they couldn't afford to feed themselves, let alone a baby. They stayed married for a couple of years, then divorced. The father suffered a heart condition and then discovered it was a genetic disorder. The race was on to locate the son. The parents searched together,  through the program, and located the son. He was tested and found he had the disorder. He was only months away from a heart attack, but was treated in time and saved.

 

Mothers forced to give up their child `through parental pressure, social stigma or economic circumstances pine for their lost child for the rest of their lives, wanting to know if they had a good life, loving adoptive parents, and have made good as they grew up.

[facthunter]

All true Peter. It's all very sad. Nev

[willedoo]

I have a first cousin who was adopted out at birth. It was kept fairly secret and his siblings were never told of it. By the time he was able to trace his birth parents unfortunately his father and sister had passed. On the bright side, he got to meet his mother before she passed and he and his brother now have a strong brother relationship. His brother was in his 50's when he first knew about it and met up. I met the formerley unknown cousin a few years ago and he's a really nice bloke. The genetic resemblance to his brother I've known for life is very strong; you'd never miss picking them as brothers despite the age gap. Same parents. It was an unplanned pregnacy and adoption, later marrying and going on to have two more children.