Phil Perry

That's my little dig at USA's chlorinated chicken, the thought of importing which is terrifying the plebs. They forget that every bag of repacked salad they buy is washed in the same stuff. . .

When not all the stuff you brag about on your Facebook page is true . . .

One from friend Tom in Pittsburgh. . .

Tonight's supper,. .. Spicy Chlorinated Chicken Wings. .. MMMMM.

A spelling Nazi sent me this. . . . [ATTACH]50739._xfImport[/ATTACH]

I've been making my own Curries fora while, but up to yet, I'd never tried making my own Naan Bread. My first attempt went completely Tits up I'm afraid. . . [ATTACH]50738._xfImport[/ATTACH]

Close indeed ! [MEDIA=twitter]1231172279972892674[/MEDIA]

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Absolutely sick of these celebrities whinging how much they're suffering from the pressures of fame. This morning my biscuit disintegrated into my coffee as I was dunking it. I got a dessert spoon trying to rescue it but it had turned to mush. Life doesn't get much worse than this .. .

Indonesia to ban S&M by law to clamp down on sexual deviance. (Ironically, Offenders will be put in hand cuffs and locked up )

It's a little floody in the UK at the mo. . . . . [ATTACH]50711._xfImport[/ATTACH]

Three friends married women from different parts of the world. The first married a Greek girl and told her that she was to do the dishes and cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house. The second man married a Thai girl and gave her the same orders, to do all the cleaning and cooking. The first day he didn’t see any results but by the third his house was clean and dinner was on the table. The third man married a Scottish girl. He ordered her to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed and dinner ready for 6pm. For the first two days he didn’t see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.

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Lowest Barometric pressure of 920 mB / hPa recorded in storm. (Ignore the bit about the Celeb who killed her boyfriend with a table Lamp after reading his texts, and has now topped herself ) https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10969127/uk-weather-storm-victims-dennis-bomb-cyclone/

The Wife said she was leaving me because I never stand up for myself ! ! ! I was so Damned angry. . . . I nearly said something.

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Carl Benjamin replies to BBC whingers.