octave

13 minutes ago, Bruce Tuncks said:

but I often wonder if her bloke did the right thing by not hitting.

As far as I am concerned the only justification for hitting someone is direct and immediate self-defence from a physical attack. 

I do have slight discomfort with the idea that a driver of violence is "humiliation" or "disrespect" It may well be but it should not be.  I think one of the problems is that these are subjective things.    Some people are quick to interpret things as being disrespectful or as rejection.  I think between myself and my wife I am quicker to define things friends or colleagues have said as "having a go" Fortunately this does not lead me to aggression.

I related a story about a female colleague whose partner wanted her to be home from work ASAP and couldn't tolerate her having a drink with her colleagues. This did lead to him hitting her after which she rightly left him.  In his eyes, he felt she was disrespecting him by not doing exactly what he wanted.  Anyone who uses violence against their partner will always believe there was a good reason.

I think we can all feel rejected, disrespected or humiliated, that is just life. the question is how do we deal with these feelings?    Humans of all genders and ages are rejected, humiliated or disrespected at some time but most do not react with violence.  I do hate the idea that we men are so emotionally fragile that we can't help ourselves. 

Here is a compilation of various clips of this accident. You can literally see the gas cylinders.  The original post said this took place in Canada however everyone you can hear seems to speak Russian. I realize that you merely passed this on but this is the essence of the fake news problem.  A quick fact-check is always a good idea.

 Oh dear, it does pay to fact-check.

https://factly.in/viral-video-shows-gas-canisters-exploding-after-the-non-electric-truck-carrying-them-crashed/

https://www.aap.com.au/factcheck/explosive-video-gaslights-electric-vehicle-drivers/

https://factcheck.afp.com/doc.afp.com.33QG9KY

7 minutes ago, facthunter said:

A considerable MAJORITY I would think. That's also a figure we should know. 

Yep and we could also pose the question "What is the difference between those who do hurt others and those who don't"    

The stand-out figure for me was that murder generally is a male vice.  87% of murders are committed by men.  I do think we have to have the courage to ask why.   I don't think we men need to be defensive about asking this question. I do not think it reflects badly on me.  Solve this conundrum and you could drastically cut the number of murders of men, women and children.   Am I wrong to ask this question? 

Nomad, My comment was in reference to the graph I posted about historical Intimate Partner homicide rate, males and females.  This seems relevant to be relevant the discussion.   If we are talking about lesser assaults then there can of course be questions about who did what to whom.    We can suppose things like I bet the alleged victim played a part in what happened.     Presupposing such things is not helpful.  It cuts both ways. In the case of a male victim, one could ask "What did he do to cause her to attack him."  

1 hour ago, old man emu said:

Along with all this, I keep worrying about those cases where the female claims a minor assault (push and shove) while the temperature is up, but has had some part in creating the argument.

The graph I posted is specifically about intimate partner homicide both male and female.  I might be misinterpreting the above quote but it does  sound a little bit like  "perhaps they were asking for it."

Something that concerns me as a man is it is not just a case of who is being killed but who is doing the killing.    It is not that we are all collectively guilty but we cant just brush this fact under the carpet.  

"First, there is a significant gender disparity: in 2022-23, 87 per cent of homicide offenders were male, while 69 per cent of homicide victims were male. Predominantly, men are killing men.

And while men were most likely to be killed by a friend, acquaintance or some other person who was not a family member, women were more likely to be killed by a former or current partner (49 per cent of all victims)."

https://lsj.com.au/articles/new-homicide-statistics-show-surge-in-intimate-partner-killings-and-huge-disparity-in-first-nations-victims/#:~:text=First%2C there is a significant,Predominantly%2C men are killing men.

OME,  would agree though that the intimate homicide rate has dropped dramatically since 1989 with a recent uptick last year and this year?    Again I am not trying to diminish the recent incidences but the narrative that this is some new epidemic does not seem to be the case.  

It is important to rationally analyse the statistics.  Yes there has been a spike in intimate partner homicides last year and in the first part of this year.   This is against a background of falling domestic homicides.  I definitely don't want to diminish the severity and horror of this spike and we ought to be working on reducing and eliminating all violence.

https://theconversation.com/new-homicide-statistics-show-surge-in-intimate-partner-killings-and-huge-disparity-in-first-nations-victims-228890

The notion that it is a new problem caused by those youngns does not really stand up to scrutiny. If we look at the graph there is a downward trend with many ups and downs or spikes.

1 minute ago, red750 said:

You haven't read all the comments on that group. And I have a former female work colleague here in Melbourne with whom I am a Facebook friend, and she has posted a couple of times that ALL men are cheaters and she is glad she stayed single. Also complains about unsolicited dick pics. I called her out on the "ALL MEN" bit in a PM. She never replied. 

The internet is a poor representation of the real world.   The internet is driven by clicks and controversy.   I would suggest that people who post are likely to not be a representative sample of the community.  Are your female friends b****? is your daughter a b****?   Do have any female friends?    The internet is great at presenting absolute.  All Aborigines are this or all Asians are that.  This does not represent actual; relationships between real people. 

None women I know are accusing me of bad behaviour,

7 minutes ago, red750 said:

Unfortunately women are feeling that ALL men are toxic, and and men are felling that ALL women are b****es.

Not in my world. I think I probably have as many female friends as male friends.  I don't believe my female friends believe me to be toxic but I treat them the same way I treat my male friends.  I don't believe there are many women out there declaring all men toxic but I think that many men are quite sensitive and believe criticism of some men equates to criticism of all men.  

7 minutes ago, old man emu said:

Can I be so rude as to suggest that if the Police haven't asked you for a statement relating to the creation of the video (ie continuity of evidence) then all your report has got is shrugged shoulders.

I did get a call about it from a detective.  This does relate to a longer-term problem which I will relate on this forum (along with some pretty cool video footage) once the situation has been fully taken care of.   We have reported instances that have resulted in arrests (which we also have on video)   

8 minutes ago, old man emu said:

I absolutely despise anyone who thinks it is comic to play on an outdated Barry McKenzie stereotype of Australian speech and vocabulary. Although a lot of Dave Allen's material is timeless, the Australian society is not locked into a late 20th Century style. It would be very hard to hear that nasal sounding speech nowadays because radio and television have standardised pronunciation. I'm sure that you could find many examples of localised terminology, but the unsophisticated "Ocker' sound and vocabulary is a thing of the past. 

 

It is as insulting to an Australian to have a foreigner try to "do the Aussie" accent as it is to have Peter Sellers try to mimic an Indian doctor.

 

 

Ah this brings back memories. When I was growing up my parents were in amateur (and a couple of professional) musicals.  They were in most of the usual musicals but they also did a couple of shows that were just bits and pieces from various shows and other musical bits.  I remember my dad did this song.

11 minutes ago, old man emu said:

I absolutely despise anyone who thinks it is comic to play on an outdated Barry McKenzie stereotype of Australian speech and vocabulary.

I totally agree.   Whilst we can look back and think maybe it was funny at the time, its time has passed.    Humour often lampoons society but once society has changed it does get a little tired.  

8 minutes ago, spacesailor said:

If you " fly your  " cat,  does it have to be registered .

spacesailor

 

registered and microchipped

8 minutes ago, spacesailor said:

When it dies I think , a quick trip to the " taxidermist "

Just a suggestion which would also include your interest in aviation

Just thinking about the idea that men require a simple defined role in life  I would say that speaking personally (and perhaps I am odd) following a stereotype of manliness would have detracted from the quality of my life. Of course, we can't scientifically compare different scenarios. Perhaps I would have been deliriously happy out there competing in the manscape and coming home and mansplaining my day to my devoted housewife (seems unlikely).     When I decided to become effeminate an raise my baby son (that's sarcastic by the way)  my workmates (I was in the RAAF at the time) had varying opinions. The opinions ranged from "that's gay" yes that was actually said to being called "Mr Mom" (a movie of that era) to an appropriate level of respect and beyond to an over-the-top super hero attitude which was just as irritating. 

Why am I relating this story? Because it makes me wonder why I was not a lost soul because I chose my own path.  I accept that some are unable to do this and it is probably not a fault but to do with upbringing.

Because I did this (picture taken while at home with my son by the woman next door who frankly was a bit of a hotty) 

In later life, I was repaid with this.... (vanity note - I lost 12 kg since this picture!!)

If men are struggling then I am sympathetic but I do tend to think that accepting and adapting to the modern world is the way to succeed and be reasonably happy. Knocking a woman over the head with a club and dragging her back to your cave is in the past and is not coming back.

I mean is there anything this man wouldn't do to raise money?😃

This is the video I mentioned. It is quite long but does canvas different opinions. There is an opinion in here for everyone (but try not to cherry-pick.)

18 minutes ago, Jerry_Atrick said:

The other reason may be a need for structure and in the absence of any other norms,

I have never been one to need norms to decide the direction of my life. In my marriage, neither of us ended up burnt out either by work or child rearing. Whatever the social norms were at the time (mixed positive and negative as I remember it) it just seemed like the rational thing to do,  

As the world changes some skills become less valuable to society and some things become more valuable.  I am using exaggerated language here but once upon a time leaping onto a bison and wrestling it to the ground and slashing its throat was an extremely important highly valued skill but times do change and they always will.   Being flexible is a valuable skill. My son is great at art and empathetic but can also rebuild a car engine. 

The problem with having set roles is that people are forced into areas that they are not suited for.   During high school, I wanted to quit music and play football not because I really wanted to or had an aptitude for sport but quite honestly I thought that music wasn't masculine enough. Thank goodness someone talked me out of it and I had an enjoyable career in music. 

41 minutes ago, spenaroo said:

imagine trying to deal with what your place in the world is as a man.

and then questioning if your place in the world is actually as a man...

how does this current generation navigate that?

I feel that much too much is made of traditional roles.     If it is a man's place to financially provide for a family and a woman's place to raise children, what does this say about me. My wife and I have shared the job of providing financially and at times it has been one or the other of us working full-time.  I stayed at home with my son for the first 18 months while my wife worked full-time. Whilst back then this was not common it was not confusing for me in terms of being a man. I feel sorry for those more traditional men who don't feel this is an option.

I saw a great video with a pannel discussing this very subject (will see if I can find it again)  It seems that the men who are struggling are those who adhere to traditional roles whilst progressive men are thriving.

To me, it is very liberating not to have to adhere to a strict model.  My son 34 is a modern man, he is emotionally intelligent, empathetic happy and successful. 

AI Trump

1 minute ago, facthunter said:

I hate it when women just use me.  Nev

its OK as long as you agree on a "safe word"

Just now, red750 said:

Any more insults?

My post was not directed at you but at men generally.   In any conflict, it is rarely a case of fault just on one side.