Phil Perry

Garage sales as such, never caught on in the UK,. . .most people take their unwanted stuff and junk to weekend Car Boot Sales, where sharks try to get it off you for nothing then advertise it all on Ebay, or Gumtree, etc. . . .

I agree entirely Marty. Maybe your kids learning the most spoken language on Earth would be a fine idea ?. . they learn languages quickly when they're young and their minds are more receptive. Whatever Trumpy and his United States successors do, I believe that the Chinese will be the next World superpower. . . Like it or not, it's certainly Looking that way.

Very Bad Job interviews. . .#329 : Q: "What is your biggest weakness?" A: "Honesty" Q: "I don't think honesty is a weakness" A: "I don't give a $h1t what you think"

To be sure, to be sure, if you like Barbershop quartets,. . .well here's an Oirish Six man Quartet to delight yez all. . .

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Was trying to post another one,. . .made by Primary school kids, but even with a cut down Screenshot, the file was too large for the site. . Sorry.

Thanks Jerry. . . . Wifey worried now. . She asked me to find Daughter and Son in Law's honeymoon flight using my elastictrickery flight radar 24,. . .when she saw that the flight was not far from Kirkuk,. . she started panicking. . .OMG says she. . " They won't shoot it down will they ? " I said that this would be very bad PR for Emirates if they did. . . It's staying up high at FL 410, skipping along at 500 knots. . .( Airbus A-380 ) as long as the Russians are not testing any missiles I said,. . .they'll probably be OK. . . Once again, my bizarre humour has me in the doghouse. . . They've got a six hour wait at Dubai for the flight to Changi. . . . Daughter is staying off the vodka until they get on the second flight ! Wifey was appalled at the mountainous terrain they were crossing. . ."They should fly around that " says she. . . . . .ahh Bless.

[ATTACH]49651._xfImport[/ATTACH] Portsmouth Council have done this to most of the streets. It’s fascinating, sad and scary. But hats off to them; it brings it home how many died.

Arrived at the Daughter's Hotel yesterday at Noon, so that Daddy could collect her in a Chauffeur driven Daimler and deliver her to the place of legal 'Hitchment' . You would not believe the look of total shock on the face of the Groom, when Wifey and I handed him a large brown envelope stuffed with 2,500 Quid in cash ! He said that this was a good excuse for doing a 'Runner' !. . .They had specifically asked us Not to buy them a specific wedding pressie, as they'd already stuffed their house full of every imaginable form of domestic goodies already ! and we had some cash floating about from Mother in law's Bequest. We thought that the cash would be appropriate, since they had paid for the entire wedding up front and refused any help with it. The cash was my idea, as Knowing them, if it had been a cheque, they could have easily trashed it and not stuffed it into their bank. . . (** Edit to Add: The Lady at the Bank was most put out after she asked me why we wanted so much cash all at once and I replied "Don't worry love, it's just a Money Laundering scam we're running. . Why do some folks seem to lack any sense of Humour ? ),. . . I will post a Piccie or two when they get back from Singapore and Thailand,. . leaving early tomorrow morning ( Nov 6th ) on an Emirates A-380. . . I quietly asked the Photographer Lady if she could 'Photoshop' me some teeth, as I had broken me top set in half a few hours earlier ! I 'Bribed' her to hang around for more time than was agreed, and she Did this, staying on until the event finished at midnight thirty. . . we are probably going to need a Wedding Album slightly larger than the Domesday book. . . As a Bonus, she and her Hubby dragged the newlyweds up to Cannock Chase Forest and took some pics up there too, this wasn't apart of the original plan, but it is amazing what bribery can achieve. . and also fortunately the rain had stopped. .. . that couple were soooo good that Wifey and I paid for a room at the local on site Motel so they could have a meal and a couple of drinks without having a 35 mile drive home in the dark and the rain. . . Great to attend a wedding for a change,. . .at my age, the last few events have been Funerals. . .

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That was one of Mine from years go Peter,. . .I always thought that Vermontians were Plagiarists,. . .but it's funny so I'll let you off this time. . . [ATTACH]49644._xfImport[/ATTACH]

Russian guy queues all day at the butcher to buy meat for dinner. When he finally gets to the front the butcher pulls down the shutters, "no more meat". Fella goes into melt down, explains he has worked hard, supported the revolution, been a comrade all his lfe, but all to no avail. As he leaves a guy in a long coat comes out of the shadows. "comrade, comrade, stay calm, a few years ago and you know what would have happened to you" and then using his hand to imitate a gun, points it at the fella's head, cocks his thumb and says "BANG" . When he gets home his wife sees the empty shopping bag and exclaims "Have they run out of meat again ?" Worse than that, he says . . . . they've even run out of bullets now.

We in the UK just had to change our clocks from BST to GMT ( Last Sunday Morning at 0200 ) as we do every year. . .Tedious. . .I saw this and thought it was amusing for THREE reasons. . . [ATTACH]49639._xfImport[/ATTACH] HAHAHAHA. . an amusing concept except for : 1) The British Summertime Clock setting is One Hour Ahead of GMT,. . .so we had to move the clocks BACK an hour. 2) The stones have Bugger all to do with Siderial Time. . . or if they DO, I've never read anything about it in my life. . . 3) Those stones are located at Avebury, and NOT Stonehenge. . . .( *Giggle* )

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What sort of holiday does a terrorist go on? A suspicious package holiday.

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Got to be honest, I never thought that they would bother getting hitched either ! They've been together for ten years. so I guess the're well used to each other now. . .

Daughter and Partner have been together for a long time, saved an astonishing amount of money between them and used most of it to pay 30% of the total cost of a 2 storey 3 bed house as a deposit; leaving a relatively comfortable and affordable mortgage spread over 20 years. They're both grafters so we won't be surprised if they pay it off early. I know what you mean about Wedding Photographers too ! They have arranged a good deal though, where the Lady photographer will only be on site for around 2 hours. I don't know the exact figure they've negotiated, but they seem quite happy with it. There will be seven circular tables for the wedding meal, each seating ten persons. I had to giggle when I saw the seating plan though, instead of Numbering the tables, each one is named after a Cocktail ! There's an A0 colour printed poster which lists who sits where, and the tables have personalised place settings. I think that is to separate certain family members ( for some reason ! ) I'm trying not to think about our financial contribution to this lot. . . .

Sorry Pete. . . at my age, I only socialise with Grandads. . . . I doubt if I shall be feeling very 'Jocular' by Christmas time, as my Eldest Daughter ( the one born in Melbourne in October 1982 ) has Her Birthday tomorrow, ( Expense but not begrudged in any way ) Then on Halloween, it's Wifey's Birthday. . .( More expense and Thai meal at the most bloody expensive Thai restaurant I've ever found in the UK . . .but not begrudged in any way ) [ Honestly ] Then on November 4th, aforementioned eldest Daughter is getting Married. . .better late than never, ( Extreme expense, but not begrudged in any way ) I wonder,. . . Does it cost much these days to declare one's self Bankrupt ? ?

NASA spots mysterious near-perfect rectangle iceberg in Antarctic

One of the grandkids left a roll of bubblewrap in the front room last night. I asked the Mrs what she wanted to do with it. 'Just pop it in the corner' she said. That's 4 hrs of my life I won't get back.