PA.

I was recently asked if I could have only one super power what would it be? I thought about this very seriously but could not decide which three I would give up.

Fundamentalist joke: Q: A Buddhist, a Hindu, a Sikh, a Jew, a Mormon and a Catholic all fall out of an airplane without a parachute. Which one hits the ground first? A: Who cares? They're all going to Hell anyway. -- Why don't Anglicans play chess well? They can't tell a bishop from a queen. -- Why don't Baptists have sex standing up? Because people might think they were dancing. -- One of the Archbishop of Canterbury's assistants runs in breathless and says to him, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, I've got Jesus on the phone for you!" The Archbishop says, "That's wonderful! What could possibly be the bad news?" "He's calling from Salt Lake City."

Sometimes assisted by a little blue tablet?

Don't forget to add a couple of Japanese subs to the order. We know how well they work in Australian waters.

Doing their Monika Lewinsky impersonations.

The aviation laughter section includes the theology and politics sections.

Global warming or Global Con? Source link.

Australian History For those that don't know about Australian history, here is a condensed version: Australians originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters and gatherers. They lived on kangaroos on the plains during the summer and would then go to the coast and live on fish and mussels in the winter. The two most important events in all Aussie history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern Aussie civilisation and together were the catalyst for the splitting of Australians into two distinct sub-groups: 1. Liberals, and 2. Labor. Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminium can were invented, so while our early Aussies were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed. Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night, while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Liberal movement. Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned to live off the Liberals by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Labor movement. Some of these Labor men eventually evolved into women. Some noteworthy Labor achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that the Liberals provided. Modern Laborites and Union leaders drink imported beer and they like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu and French food are standard Labor fare. Another interesting, evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, government workers - state and federal, personal injury lawyers, journalists (especially at The Age), ABC staff, and group therapists are Laborites. Liberals drink domestic beer, mostly Carlton or XXXX. They eat red meat (rare), and still provide for their women. Liberals are police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots, business owners, farmers, restauranteurs, doctors and nurses and generally anyone who works productively. Liberals who own companies, hire other Liberals who want to work for a living. Laborites produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. That is why most of the laborites created the business of trying to get more for nothing - and usually plead for government money to fund their unproductive, parasitical activities. Here ends today's lesson in Australian history.

Only break a toe.

Coles balls are clear.

Found some! At Coles supermarket in the Christmas area they are around 80 mm diameter and are $3 ea and include some useless Christmas trinket.

When he is laying on his back under a forklift place a large welding clamp on his wedding tackle. Make sure you are wearing shoes that can not be identified as that will be the last thing he sees before his eyes water over. Good luck and don't let the welding clamp pinch your fingers as that would hurt big time. (This was done by a young apprentice to the workplace bully, he never bullied anyone again after this.)