NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH.

[Phil Perry]

LOCAL NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH

 

In the light of recent police announcements that they no longer consider it necessary to attend the scene of domestic burglaries, I have taken down my St. George's flag from beside the house and peeled the burglar alarm sticker off the front door.

 

We've disconnected our home alarm system and quit our local Neighbourhood Watch subscription.

 

I've bought two Republic of Pakistan flags on eBay and raised them in the front garden, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the centre.

 

Now the local police, CID, MI5, MI6, SAS and other UK Counter Terrorism agencies are all watching our house 24/7.

 

We've never felt safer and we're saving £24.95 a month.

 

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