red750

This might not sound like a positive at first. Over the last fortnight, I have received an electricity bill, a gas bill, and today, a water rates bill. Each one said "Your account is in credit. No payment required." This is because I make a small, managable payment to each supplier, every pension day. So when unexpected bills arise, like when my ignition switch had to be replaced, there was no panic.

And here's another one that will bring heaps of criticism upon me. I think it's about time that the death penalty be reintroduced for men who murder their wives, partners, girlfriends, or any woman who turns down their advances. Another woman killed at Cobram in northern Victoria today. That makes about 5 in the last month or so, 30 in Australia this year. It is absolutely out of hand. I know people will say "What if they get the wrong guy?", and initially, Samantha Murphy's husband was considered responsible by many on social media. But if there existing reports of domestic violence and AVO's, the field will be considerably reduced. Naturally, an exhaustive investigation would have to completed before sentencing. BUt if the death penalty was on the books, surely it would make the perpetrator reconsider.

Banks are taking it into their own hands to determine what you can spend your money on. I read a story where a guy was prevented from taking $3000 from his account by his bank. He went to the Post Office to withdraw, and the PO did not have an arrangement with his bank. He drove 20 minutes to another town to withdraw it through a supermarket, but they didn't have sufficient cash on hand. The banks claim they are protecting you from losing your money to scammers. For large withdrawals, you have to produce a invoice to prove that the sale is legitimate.

This time in W.A. https://au.yahoo.com/finance/news/home-builder-collapses-60-years-105800826.html

Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?” Thomas replied, “Actually, I’ve found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them.” His friend thinks for a moment and says, “I’ve got the perfect solution, just find a girl who’s just like your mother.” A few months later they meet again and his friend says, “Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?” With a frown on his face, Thomas answers, “Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.” The friend said, “Then what’s the problem?” Thomas replied, “My father doesn’t like her.”

I was also the fat kid in high school. 16 stone (224 lb, 101.6 kg). My father was 22 st, (308 lb, 139.7 kg.) We were poor, Dad collected empty bottles from shearers quarters on sheep stations around Deniliquin and took them to Melbourne to cash them in at the glass factory. I had to deliver newspapers before school to earn enough to buy my school uniform. I had quite a few nicknames, suffered a bit of bullying. One group of 3 tough guys used to hide along the way home, to jump out and chase me home. I had very few friends, mainly neighbours. My parents could not afford enough to let me go to school social functions. I was terrible at all sports at school - football (AFL), cricket, basketball, tennis, softball. Bad hand/eye co-ordination. My position at sports was scorekeeper. I never learned to dance as a teenager, went to a dancing school in my mid 20's, where I met my wife. My passion was aviation so started saving when I began working, and learned to fly at age 23, getting my licence at 24. That was my biggest achievement to that date. I never had money for alcohol or drugs, learned to live with whatever. Realised that after the effects of the crutch wore off, you would be back where you started, which is what causes addiction and dependency.

The installation of ionisation smoke alarm used to be allowed in Queensland. But with the new smoke alarm laws in place, the technology requirements have changed. From January 1, 2017, moving forward, all new smoke alarms that will go into every property must only be photoelectric alarms that comply with Australian Standards 3786:2014. The legislation also outlines important details about the placement of smoke alarms in the home, and the timeframes of implementation, depending on the use of the property. https://www.safehomeservices.com.au/ionisation-smoke-alarm-new-legislation/

A girl about to turn 18 says to her father, "Dad, can I have a Ferrari for my birthday?" Her dad says, "Can you spell Ferrari?" She says, "F-E-R-A-R-I." Her dad says, "Sorry, that's not correct." She thinks about it, then says, "Well, can I have a Lamborghini?" Again her father says "Can you spell Lamborghini?" She replies, "L-A-M-B-O-R-G-I-N-I." Dad says, "No, that's not right either." This time she asks for a Porche, and agian her father asks her to spell it. "P-R-S-H." Dad says, "Sorry love, that's not right either." Finally, she says, "What about a BMW?"

Because it looks bloody ugly.

But you can take a sleeve off. I understand, but do't agree with the tribal tattoos, but anything else is desecration of your body, like pouring paint over Capt Cook statues. I know no-one else will agree with me, that's just my feeling. Just like I agree with scrapping a second safe injecting room in Melbourne. If they die of an overdose, that's their choice. No-one forced them to start taking drugs and get hooked.

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen. 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake." 8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. 9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!". 10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. 11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'. 12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. 13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!". Can't you just hear him say all of these? I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word or political. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless"with a big smile on his face.

When you read a book, it has been read, not red. But if you lead a horse, it has been led.

Not crows, but a interesting video....

World Naked Gardening Day is an event celebrated on the first Saturday of May of every year, and this year, it takes place on May 4. Gardeners from all over the world get together to attend to their plants and flowers wearing no clothes or shoes. This guy is overdressed.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13334467/Why-single-photo-Australian-suburb-sparked-huge-debate-future-country.html?ito=social-facebook

Not housing this time, but the trend conntinues: Major construction companies specialising in road building have collapsed, reportedly owing creditors more than $80million. Allroads Pty Ltd, a Brisbane-based civil construction company, and its subsidiary Allroads Plant went into administration on March 4. Administrators Darryl Kirk and Stephen Earel, who are partners at insolvency firm Cor Cordis, have now written a creditors' report outlining how both companies together owe $83million to almost 1,000 creditors.

Guilty as charged, although I do try to correct all the typo's this laptop insists on inflicting.

I never worked with someone had had a transormation, but I did work with a gay guy who was a nice enough bloke and did his job well. It was just some of the things he would say, like "laughing my tits off". My wife worked with a gay guy who lived with another bloke and their dog. He was a good friend to my wife, annd both attended her memorial service. There was another guy she worked with who always dressed like an executive at work, but we were invited to his birthday at his home, and he greeted us in a dress and high heels. I have no problem with them if they keep that side of their life at home. If they do a good job, there is no problem. If they constantly 'camp it up', it would turn me off. The thing I cannot accept, in males, females or whatever, is body modification or adornment. I dislaike tattoos on anyone, particularly women. It looks dirty, and on women, makes them look cheap. It's like keying a Jag. And piercinngs are a big no-no. A piercing on the earlobe of a female, with a small pin is OK, but rings through the nose, lip or eyebrow is definitely out. And the current fashion on Instagram, Snap Chat, etc., of balloon lips is hideous. No way:

Guys, forget dating sites.... Go onto Facebook marketplace and search for wedding dresses for sale......It will show you the profiles of recently divorced ladies in your area. From there you can even filter by size. 😁

An old guy, a young man, an old woman, and a young women are all riding in a train. The two women were facing the two guys in the same compartment. As the train was going crossing the countryside, it enters a tunnel, and everything becomes dark. While in the tunnel, you hear a K!$$$$$ then a Smack. When the train leaves the tunnel, the young guy is rubbing his face as if he was smacked. The old lady thinks: “He must’ve tried to k!SSSS the young lady and needed up getting smacked.” The young lady thinks: “He must’ve tried ki$$$$$$$$ing me and ended up ki$$$$$$!ng the old lady and she smacked him.” The young guy thinks: “The old guy must’ve tried to ki$$$$$$$$$$$ the old lady and she tried to hit him but hit me by accident.” The old guy thinks: “On the next tunnel I am going to ki$$$$$$$ my hand again and Smack the young guy again.”

They could give me the 72 virgins now, nothing I could do about. Cancer replaced the banana with a raisin 10 years ago.